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January 4, 2007, 5:49 am PST
you are right
Quote From: julie42I spent four and a half years trying to understand a violent and abusive control freak, only to realize the impossible, that I thought I could "fix" him....if I loved him enough, supported him enough, gave him what he wanted and needed, if I sacrificed enough, he'd change, be happier, be kinder, gentler, more loving, stop using drugs and drinking. I kept believing that eventually he'd be better, and love me back the way I wanted and needed to be loved. I know now that it can't be done - not that way. It took me waking up with a knife to my throat to realize it, and my child was in the next room. I thank God we got away at all!
Even with all that, it was scary, difficult and no matter how right it is, there are times I would second guess myself. NOW, I say - Stay strong and GET AWAY!! One day you'll wake up and realize that it does get better, you'll be able to smile and know you have your LIFE back. It's worth it. YOU are worth it! I'm trying to formulate a plan to go with my children. We live in his house that his grandmoher left him. I dont think she would have wanted me and my children out on the street but this is just how it is. He has let me know that this is HIS house. I remember the day's before in my life when i could just walk away. I do miss those days,but do not regret my children. It just makes it so much harder. If I could offer any advice on jerks is do not get tied down to one.
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