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January 6, 2007, 11:50 am PST
12/21 One Paycheck Away
Quote From: soonerbabeI can't answer the question of where the middle ground is in your situation because as I have stated before there is only your version of the facts and your perception of his feelings and attitutes about the situation. Until a mediator such as myself speaks to both parties and can determine the real causes of behaviors and actions no plan can be developed and no healing can begin.
I never purported that this solution would be right for everyone but the current system certainly isn't either. My question to you would be if you had no children where would the money come from to pay the electric bill or fill up your car? This solution does not make the custodial parent accountable to the non custodial for where the money is spent. With a budget and the money contributed by both parents the child's needs are covered and isn't that the goal? It insures that both parents are contributing their share to the child's needs. If you want to account into the budget an allottment for electricity and gas then that is appropriate. But if he has contributed to cover the costs of the child's use and you still can't pay the bill why is that his responsibility? If the ex is paying his share for the child's needs where is your complaint? Isn't the custodial parent already contributing to the child's needs without having to put money into an account? It makes no sense for the custodial parent to put money into an account when their money already goes to taking care of the child. Also money for the car or electric bill would still be paid for by the person using it but there would not be as much paid if the person were alone. As far as a mediator been there done that all he wanted to do was blame me for everything nothing could be worked out because he could not accept the fact that he had blame in the dissolution of the marriage. I might not have been perfect no one is but I did not make him abuse. I did not make him cheat. I did not make him drink. He was an adult he made those choices and so I made a choice and I left.
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