Quote From: ceildh1Don't know if I can be much help, but I can try.
First off, would it really be a good idea to allow him to dictate whether or not you, your husband( if applicable) or his siblings ( again if applicable), should be allowed to access the internet because he has a problem ? Probably NOT. To me that is like my Alcoholic relations telling me I cannot have a drink if I want to, I don't have the problem, they do, hope you can see what I'm getting at here.
How about locking the doors with computers in them, or cutting down the number of computers in your home, if you need one for work, keep it locked up, yeah I know how crafty and computer literate kids are (sigh) I have a couple of teens myself, then maybe keep a second one for the kids in a PUBLIC AREA of your home, restricing access to only IF a parent is home and watching. I had resorted to taking the MOUSE and KEYBOARD to work with me when we had the same problem.
Unfortunatly, there is nothing you can do outside your home, but if its happening at a friend's home, are the friend's PARENTS aware of what their kids are doing online ? Maybe a friendly phone call ( not always successful I know, but worth a try ) to the other parents might help, call the school and let them know or the library if these are other places he might be accessing the internet, the web is EVERYWHERE these days and there are countless places where it can be accessed, be vigilant of where he goes, and check up on him, until they sign the lease on their first apartment, they have no right to REAL privacy, your home, your rules.
But, all that being said, this young man NEEDS HELP, professional HELP, find someone in your area, and don't give up, he seems to be BEGGING for it and as much as we hate to admit it, they aren't always comfortable talking to us, PLEASE don't let this escalate into something worse, get his father on board, if possible, but PLEASE find a professional and get him the help he needs, you sound like you two have a good relationship, that's a good start.
Good luck to you.
I think it is great that he wants the computer out of the house all together. If it is possible in any way I think you should get rid of it. We all did get along without computers at one time. If you must have a computer because you work out of your home set it up to where no one can access it but you. The best way to avoid temptation in my opinion is to completely seperate yourself from what is tempting you. Since he asked you to get rid of the computer it seems that he is looking to seperate himself from his temptation. If you are involved in church get him into talk to someone there. I truly believe that we can't do anything on our own will. We all need to rely on God to help us through the tough times. Assure him that he is not the only one who has struggled whith these problems and get him some help sooner rather than later. This is a serious issue. Best of lucK!
