Quote From: ibrn01 My FIL lost his job over 2 years ago. When his unemployment ran out he started taking money from his 401K. We tried to tell him to get a job, he only had 3 years until he could collect partial social security. He refused to take a job at Home Depot or something like that, it was "not good enough for him". He worked on a line in a factory. He would not take factory work because he was "tired" of it. Needless to say for 2 years he did not even look for a job. His 401 ran out. Then he told us he needed to stay with us for a "month or two", until he could save money for a new apartment. With reservations, I agreed.
He made our live hell for the last six months. He did not pay a dime to live here. We were supporting him, my MIL, and our two children. He would turn the heat up to 75 to 80 in our house. We informed him that the $200 + gas bills were getting to be too much for us to pay, he still continued to do what he wanted. He would leave lists of what he wanted me to buy for groceries, and certain kinds of soap and laundry detergent that was the "only kind he could use".
Not only did he demand what he wanted and expect us to pay for it, but he was verbally abusive to myself and my 11 year old daughter. We were both called fat and lazy on a daily basis. My grocery, electric, gas and cable bill doubled. When we asked that he atleast buy some of his own groceries he said "I am having a hard time right now". His hard time is sinking my family both finaincially and emotionally. When his son came home from the military he had to buy his own food and pay rent.
Should I have to support my inlaws? It is hard enough to support our family of four. My husband works 2 jobs, and I work full time. He has yet to look for a place to live. We gave him the numbers for the senior center, telling him they can help find low income housing. He refuses to do anything but sit on the couch and watch TV. My patience is at its end.
When I read your post, I had to register and respond to you.
I think that you and your husband had good intentions and all but it makes me angry to hear what you are going through now. I am sure you are in a difficult position with this but you guys have got to stand together and set up some boundaries. I am working through some stuff myself with boundaries right now with my family. It can be tough to do but you have got to take care of you and your family. I am talking about your marriage and children.
I would have to tell your in-laws that enough is enough. Give them a timeframe and tell them that you are sorry but they have got to go. I would have to tell them that you have opened your home to them long enough and that it does not seem that they appreciate it but expect things from you now.
To answer your question: Should I have to support my inlaws? NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I could understand if there was an illness involved but this man sounds able-bodied but just plain lazy. Seriously, there are jobs out there. They might not be exactly what he wants, but he can still look while he is supporting himself and wife.
Please, for the sake of your family, get together with your husband and stand up for yourselves. You are within your rights to stop this insanity and take your lives back. Sit them down and tell them that they have x amount of time (please make it short) and that they have to make other arrangements.
People think you are mean when you set boundaries and stick to it, but believe me, it is for your own good and theirs. It may be hard at first, but they will get over it.
I feel for you and you have someone in your corner. I know you were trying to do the right thing.
