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Replies to 'Workplace Bullies'

 
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January 10, 2007, 4:14 am PST

Workplace Bullies

Quote From: squid_ling

Well done for speaking out. I have been in similar situations and spoke out too which is so difficult. It seems this kind of behaviour happens in the workplace wherever in the world you are. I worked in the UK and it happened there and it seems crazy to let it slide.

 

Of course the best thing I ever did was to get a much better nicer job with wonderful people who have integrity and are considerate and fun loving. My new job is working for ( would you believe it ) an investment bank which is the most supportive and wonderful environment for me. I have learnt so much more in this role and it is because I am not constantly worried about being beaten up emotionally. I find people can't believe that I would ever have been bullied and make a point of explaining to others who might be looking for work not to work for company X which I found so terrible.  Word of mouth spreads, there is another girl who works for my new company who also quit under similar circumstances at the same place because of bullying. These things do eventually get found out.

 

I hope everyone else on the site finds a good role and a culture where tolerance and diversity are evident. Some people might want to take legal action but I just wanted to walk away and get my life back which I now have, I know now when I interview with someone that I need to ask lots more questions and DO! Good luck everyone and stay strong. Everyone has individual talents and skills which can be brought out if they work in the right place.

As a person who also experienced workplace bullying, i applaud you for getting out and making a new start.  That is usually the best thing, and it is what I did many years ago.  The bullying at my former workplace was well-established before I ever got there, and from what I hear continues on to this day.  I have had two jobs since then, but no bullying, and I can do my job in peace- we understimate how important that is until we have to deal with a workplace bully.

Asking questions at an interview is very important as you say.  Though I do think that some bullies are very slick, and it may not show through at an interview. Some people (my former boss included) can be very charming to the rest of the world while being very abusive to select people who work for them.

 

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quiet
January 12, 2007, 8:56 pm PST

Don't Debate...Just Document

Quote From: squid_ling

Well done for speaking out. I have been in similar situations and spoke out too which is so difficult. It seems this kind of behaviour happens in the workplace wherever in the world you are. I worked in the UK and it happened there and it seems crazy to let it slide.

 

Of course the best thing I ever did was to get a much better nicer job with wonderful people who have integrity and are considerate and fun loving. My new job is working for ( would you believe it ) an investment bank which is the most supportive and wonderful environment for me. I have learnt so much more in this role and it is because I am not constantly worried about being beaten up emotionally. I find people can't believe that I would ever have been bullied and make a point of explaining to others who might be looking for work not to work for company X which I found so terrible.  Word of mouth spreads, there is another girl who works for my new company who also quit under similar circumstances at the same place because of bullying. These things do eventually get found out.

 

I hope everyone else on the site finds a good role and a culture where tolerance and diversity are evident. Some people might want to take legal action but I just wanted to walk away and get my life back which I now have, I know now when I interview with someone that I need to ask lots more questions and DO! Good luck everyone and stay strong. Everyone has individual talents and skills which can be brought out if they work in the right place.

Yeah I spoke out but not in the right way.  Thats what I have been finding out since doing research on workplace bullying.  I am the kind of person who will say something and I end up looking like the villain in the process.   And the worst thing to do in a confrontation is to use "you" statements instead of "I" statements because it puts the person on the defensive and makes them look like the victim.  What I really should have done was just kept my mouth shut and started to document all of this individual's behavior instead of getting into a heated debate with him.  Never get into a debate with a bully because they will try to make you feel guilty for pointing their behavior out to them.  Especially the narcissistic and self-loathing types. Just document, documet, document. 
 
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quiet
February 24, 2008, 5:37 pm PST

I Hope You Still Read This Board

Quote From: squid_ling

Well done for speaking out. I have been in similar situations and spoke out too which is so difficult. It seems this kind of behaviour happens in the workplace wherever in the world you are. I worked in the UK and it happened there and it seems crazy to let it slide.

 

Of course the best thing I ever did was to get a much better nicer job with wonderful people who have integrity and are considerate and fun loving. My new job is working for ( would you believe it ) an investment bank which is the most supportive and wonderful environment for me. I have learnt so much more in this role and it is because I am not constantly worried about being beaten up emotionally. I find people can't believe that I would ever have been bullied and make a point of explaining to others who might be looking for work not to work for company X which I found so terrible.  Word of mouth spreads, there is another girl who works for my new company who also quit under similar circumstances at the same place because of bullying. These things do eventually get found out.

 

I hope everyone else on the site finds a good role and a culture where tolerance and diversity are evident. Some people might want to take legal action but I just wanted to walk away and get my life back which I now have, I know now when I interview with someone that I need to ask lots more questions and DO! Good luck everyone and stay strong. Everyone has individual talents and skills which can be brought out if they work in the right place.

I have lost the last two jobs I had because I "did not fit in to the corporate culture." Those are not my words, they are the words of the employment counselor at my college. What in the world do you do about something like that? The kinds of stuff I'm reading about on these boards - I'm scared to death to get close to anyone on the job. Then, no one is on your side, and you're not seen as part of the team.

 

I'm dying to know - what are the questions that you ask when you're interviewing? All I want is to be left alone to do my job, which I always do well; in fact, I'm almost always the hardest working person at whatever job I'm at. I just don't get it. Don't these managers need people who work hard, who take pride in their work, who don't want to get involved in gossip and office drama? I'm so discouraged. Now I'm 44 and starting a new career, and I just can't get enthusicastic about it anymore. It is SO HEARTBREAKING to try so hard over and over, and it just is not enough.

 


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