Quote From: gwarrior6The only reason to find parents that abandoned me is to ask questions about family medical problems. Otherwise, if they didn't care enough about me to raise me, or even seek me out, why should i want a relationship with them? Yeah, i can forgive someone, but i don't have to buddy up with them either. I can go off and start my own family, that's within my control to do so.
In some cases parents do their children a FAVOR by getting out of their lives. As a former parole officer, I can tell you that I have seen drug-addicted parents leave their children with family members because the drugs meant more to them than their own children.
Yes, that was their choice to try drugs and they must accept ownership of that, but in REALITY they did their children a HUGE favor by getting far away from them. Many grandparents, aunts, friends, etc, have become wonderful substitute parents to some of these kids.
FORGIVENESS is a gift you give YOURSELF....once you forgive the person who wronged you, the other person has no control over you. You can be at peace. Until you forgive, you will walk around with a big brick on your shoulders that affects all your other relationships (been there, done that for 33 years...since the age of 10).
Each case is different. Some of these adults who abandoned their kids for a reason I stated above, eventually get clean, feel remorse and truly want to be a part of their child's life...if the child will allow them to. Everyone deserves a second chance in life IF they have honestly accepted responsiblity for their actions/mistakes and worked hard to make amends.
