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Replies to 'Overcoming Grief'
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September 16, 2005, 2:55 pm PDT
 Quote From: melissa212 I've just finished reading all of the stories posted and my heart goes out to all of you. I am really sorry for your loss and impressed by all of the caring words and support each one of you has demonstrated. My father recently died, at his home in New York, on July 31st. His death was caused by a fire, which accidentally took his life while he was sleeping. No one could ever know how much it hurts, as I am sure that each one of you have realized how personal pain and loss truly is. I still can't believe it's true. But, the pain keeps the memory real. My dad visited me in FL a week before he died. And it hurts so bad to think of him dead. I just can't understand it. I can't imagine the pain each one of you is going through, with the loss of children, siblings and partners. Loss is so difficult. But, I hope some good will come of everything in each of your lives. I am only 23 and already, I have loss both my parents, as my mother died when I was six..and my father raised me. I really don't have a support structure, except for my husband...but that isn't enough. He expects me to go one as if everything is ok. He doesn't understand my sadness, but he tries his best. I know there are worse stories of loss, and there are also so many stories of ppl that live their lives without a loss as great...maybe things happen for a reason, but I really have no idea what it is. Til then I'll never forget the sadness, although I try to put on a brave face, death and loss is a sadly unfair situation. So nice of you to comment on everyone's grief; we are all here for the same reason & in need of support & not one of us has greater or lesser pain. Although, some situations vary, as in cause of death, relations, ages, etc.......grief is grief! One persons grief is just as important as the next & you were so kind to include everyone! So thank you!
My personal losses have been my grandmother (1994 - old age), who I was close to while growing up. And I know her spirit is near! My father (2004 - heart attack) who I grieve over a lack of a close relationship with & my loss of the father I did have briefly through the years. And my youngest son (1999 - SIDS, age: 6 1/2 weeks old) who I miss having in my arms & I think of him every single day! I honor my son through the organization that I founded "MAD AT SIDS" (Moms And Dads Against The Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) in May of 2002.
In response to your post about your own personal experience. I'd like to extend my condolences to you for the loss of your father; as well as your mother even though it was years ago. July 31st. was not that long ago hun & this is still so so fresh!......The despair I'm in reference to. It does take a long time to journey through the grief of a loved one! Finding that balance in your life again will come in time. Even though sometimes it may seem that you are walking down a dark, never ending tunnel......keep putting one foot in front of the other & eventually you will begin to see some light little by little. Do the things that bring you a little added peace & comfort. Do the things that "you" feel you need to do as you journey through your grief. You mention having a lack of support at home. Before I forget to say......"You are in the right place!" & "Keep coming back!" And yes, many times it is hard to find another person (like your husband for example) to talk to who "completely" understands. And right now you are in need of all the understanding you can get. Coming to a support group, such as this one, is one of the best things just simply because you can meet others who have had very similar experiences with the grief you are having (fathers, fire, close relationships, etc.) & gradually work through your grief with the support of others who have had similar losses & understand at least a portion of your pain. If there are local groups in your area for grief, that is wonderful as well! I wish you all of the peace & comfort hun. I hope this helps some.
God Bless! |
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