Replies to '01/11 In Search Of …'

(this is a continuation of my first post b/c the first posting was getting too long)

In continuing with my discussion, i believe it is unreasonable that Darby's mother should be made to feel "guilty" b/c she wasn't able to spend every minute of every day looking for her missing daughter without outside assistance.  This does not conclude that she didn't love her daughter, that she stopped caring, or that she didn't want her found.

I would like to bring the issue right back to task.  And that is that Darby's father needs to be held accountable for disappearing with the child.  It was his actions, not Darby's mother, that led to this tragic saga!  Why did he feel that he was justified in keeping Darby away from her mother?  I heard no allegations of child abuse made by the grandmother!  Did the father make any abuse claims in court?  Appararently, the court found both parents to be fit at the time because they were awarded joint custody.  Therefore, i'm led to conclude both parties were capable of parenting and Darby was taken by her father and his family out of spite.  Abuse is the only justifiable reason to keep a parent away from their child and i heard no indication of that whatsoever.

Darby is the tragic victim in this situation.  I was so sad to hear her comments because it revealed to me just how embittered she has come to feel regarding her mother without ever hearing her mother's side of the story.  And i'm sorry, but i find it hard to believe she reached these conclusions she has regarding her mother without some help from the paternal family that helped to raise her.  If they did help to embitter that poor girl with lies and spite, they should feel ashamed of themselves.  They are morally accountable for that girl's well being... truth, lies, and all and will have to answer to a higher power one day!  I will keep Darby in my prayers and hope that she finds peace one day.  Perhaps, some day she will at least be willing to sit down and give her mother a chance to explain what happened from her end.  Hatred and Bitterness get us nowhere in life it only helps to paralyze us.  And i also think it's important to remember that Darby's mother appears to be a victim as well.  She was denied the right to be a beneficial/intergral part of her daughter's well-being and it was not of her own doing.  Her child was taken away from her she didn't abandoned her.  Unfortunately, that is Darby's perception and her loyalities remain with those who raised her even if they have been deceitful and wrong.  There would never be enough evidence in her eye's justifying why her mom wasn't there for her.  I pray for both mother/daughter!