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Replies to '01/17 Gender Identity Crisis'
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January 13, 2007, 3:22 pm PST
 Quote From: lkelsom I am an alcohol/drug counselor who has been in the field for approximately 15 years. I have worked in many inpatient residential and outpatient facilities. I have even worked in an all male medium level prison for two years. On several occasions I have come in contact with individuals who have wanted to change their gender, for whatever reasons. In the prison setting there was no way the individual could physically make that change, however in one of the residential settings I had a client who had made many drastic changes as far as her gender was concerned. Well, most of those decisions were made while she was "high" but after she got into tx she began to realize why she used and why she had rebelled against her parents concerning her gender change. She was able to identify that making those changes were inadvertly directed at her parents as punishment. They had wanted her to be a "good" girl, get a degree, make them grandparents, etc.; she felt no warmth or true concern from her parents and used these changes as a means of directly "hurting" them. However, once she got clean and sober and worked on her "genuine" issues, she realized that having her breasts removed and a total hyster. had been in defiance to her parents. At that time she was devastated because she could not go back and change those decisions; during recovery she realized that she really wanted to be a mother and to have a family, and that some of her goals in life were things that her parents would approve of. When I read about the program where the girl will be on your show talking about her wanting to be a male, I remembered my former client. I remember all of the physical and emotional trauma that she went through while mouthing the same things. I feel true concern for this individual and her family and loved ones. I pray that you will help her to explore all of her choices in this matter and that she has no "ulterior" motives. I am a registered social worker and have worked in mental health, with addictions, famliy violence, as a sexual assault therapist and more for almost 20 years. I have had the privelege of supporitng a young individual who was born into the worng body. When I met this individual she was born into a female body and was at the beginning of her journey to acceptance. Over the past 8 years she has been given the support and recognition of the community where she lives including the police who have invited her to forums to help them understand the issues and to helop other organizations who support youth to understand the issues. She is simply not a confused person who is not dealing with the "real" issues. She is effectivly dealing with the REAL issue of her gender. I believe it is important for us to listen to youth, to really listen and hear their concerns being careful not to shame or blame them for being different. This takes courage for us to step outside of the box.
The youngster Kaeligh has the body of a boy trapped inside a girl. It sounds like the parents need counselling to come to terms with what this means. I beleieve if the child's gender is denied Kaleigh will have the feelings of a boy and these feelings will eventually surface. This is my opinion. |
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January 14, 2007, 12:44 pm PST
Quote From: lkelsom I am an alcohol/drug counselor who has been in the field for approximately 15 years. I have worked in many inpatient residential and outpatient facilities. I have even worked in an all male medium level prison for two years. On several occasions I have come in contact with individuals who have wanted to change their gender, for whatever reasons. In the prison setting there was no way the individual could physically make that change, however in one of the residential settings I had a client who had made many drastic changes as far as her gender was concerned. Well, most of those decisions were made while she was "high" but after she got into tx she began to realize why she used and why she had rebelled against her parents concerning her gender change. She was able to identify that making those changes were inadvertly directed at her parents as punishment. They had wanted her to be a "good" girl, get a degree, make them grandparents, etc.; she felt no warmth or true concern from her parents and used these changes as a means of directly "hurting" them. However, once she got clean and sober and worked on her "genuine" issues, she realized that having her breasts removed and a total hyster. had been in defiance to her parents. At that time she was devastated because she could not go back and change those decisions; during recovery she realized that she really wanted to be a mother and to have a family, and that some of her goals in life were things that her parents would approve of. When I read about the program where the girl will be on your show talking about her wanting to be a male, I remembered my former client. I remember all of the physical and emotional trauma that she went through while mouthing the same things. I feel true concern for this individual and her family and loved ones. I pray that you will help her to explore all of her choices in this matter and that she has no "ulterior" motives. I believe that is my largest concern for people dealing with gender identiity and even homosexuality! Whether or not the underlying issues are being addressed accurately!
A problem I see with both issues is complete acceptance of what a person is saying is so and not questioning them more closely our of fear of being labeled discriminatory!
The point being that not ALL gender identity questions come from the same people or same perspective. Just as not all homosexuals are the same! So I believe it is a diservice to people to just say "they can't help it, they were born that way!!"
Good counseling involves understanding the individual and looking deep for any underlying motivations they themselves may not recognize! After all that is what they are in councseling for! To have a fress pair of ears, eyes and brain to analyze the situation and help the individual understand their own motivations themselves!
I personally have known women who are homosexual who dres and act masculine not because they are predisposed to it, but because it is used as a form of safety from men! It is purely psychological on their part...it isn't done consciously...how I counseled a friend one time to identify and appreciate her own sex was to tell her from my perspective as a female...that if I found men attractive I certainly wouldn't be attracted to a woman who acted like a man...this was told kindly to my friend and gently...this got her thinking...suddenly she was dressing like a woman and was much happier with herself, her sex and sexuality...last time I saw her, she looked beautiful. She gave me a big hug and thanked me!
Why? Because I saw an underlying motive that she couldn't see and I brought it to her attention! She also had been sexually abused by her father as a child...I am not a professional counselor and didn't get into it with her...she had her sexual preference and I love her as a friend!
But it is things like this that make me question gender identity...giving a person reason to trust you with the minute details of their life so that you may help them see things from different perspectives takes time and it takes discernment which relies on some questioning skeptisism! |
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January 19, 2007, 8:15 am PST
Quote From: lkelsom I am an alcohol/drug counselor who has been in the field for approximately 15 years. I have worked in many inpatient residential and outpatient facilities. I have even worked in an all male medium level prison for two years. On several occasions I have come in contact with individuals who have wanted to change their gender, for whatever reasons. In the prison setting there was no way the individual could physically make that change, however in one of the residential settings I had a client who had made many drastic changes as far as her gender was concerned. Well, most of those decisions were made while she was "high" but after she got into tx she began to realize why she used and why she had rebelled against her parents concerning her gender change. She was able to identify that making those changes were inadvertly directed at her parents as punishment. They had wanted her to be a "good" girl, get a degree, make them grandparents, etc.; she felt no warmth or true concern from her parents and used these changes as a means of directly "hurting" them. However, once she got clean and sober and worked on her "genuine" issues, she realized that having her breasts removed and a total hyster. had been in defiance to her parents. At that time she was devastated because she could not go back and change those decisions; during recovery she realized that she really wanted to be a mother and to have a family, and that some of her goals in life were things that her parents would approve of. When I read about the program where the girl will be on your show talking about her wanting to be a male, I remembered my former client. I remember all of the physical and emotional trauma that she went through while mouthing the same things. I feel true concern for this individual and her family and loved ones. I pray that you will help her to explore all of her choices in this matter and that she has no "ulterior" motives. Although transsexuality has been lumped in the psychological arena, we fail to see that the weight of scientific evidence demonstrates it has a biological origin. one out of 100 babies are born with some form of gender/sex identity anomoly, or incogruency. Gender and sex have two distinct meaning. Gender refers to the biological hard wired information that is pre programed at 8 weeks time. Sex refers to the secondary characteristics, the physical components we see, such as the gonads, reproductive organs, and genitals. If all goes well our gender and sex should be aligned. The gender and sex spectrum is rather complex. It is not only ignorant but neive to think that if you were born with a penis you are a male or a vagina, you are a female. What would you identify if you were born with both, partial or none? Gender lies in the brain, and not psychologically speaking, but hormonal and receptor configurations. Please do the research it there. We are not our genitals, our genitals are a matter of fact and not considered our identity. How superficial can we get.
Mark Angelo |
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