Quote From: brady1177This has been a battle for me since I was 12 years old. I was a gymnast and a cheerleader when I was younger. I was the short one that weighed the least every year who always seemed to be picked for the top of the pyramids and stances. That was until I hit 12 or 13 years old. I had gained about 10 pounds that summer and when I came back my coach took me off the squad until I lost the weight I had gained. She pulled me up in front of all the other cheerleaders and pulled my tank up so they could see a (roll). She made fun of me for 20 minutes showing the girls the difference between pictures of me the year before and that year. I was so humiliated. I left school that day and made a decision. I would never eat again unless I had to!
4 years later I was down to 72 lbs and very ill. I had to stop going to school because I was so weak. I was checked into a clinic by my father but insurance didn't cover the amount of time it would take to get me help. That fall I turned 18 and I moved out on my own. I tried to keep up with the regimen they had me on, but I couldn't afford to go see the counselor anymore and I fell back into my old ways. My highest weight on the program was 125 - 130 lbs...
Now, I'm 27 years old 5 ft 2 inches and I currently weigh 92 lbs. I'm supposedly healthier than I ever been before but I still feel huge and I am constantly having to force myself to eat every day. It's getting tougher each day and anna is taking control again. How do I get help if I can't afford it. I make too much to get assistance and I don't make enough to pay for both the meds and treatment... I feel lost and I just want to die. I would really rather die than be this way anymore. I just want to stop everything...
My fiance knows that I was anna for years before we met but I was at a healthy weight when we met. He knows I've lost weight but I don't think he sees it as too much. I'm afraid of losing him if I don't get a grip on this thing. I just can't stop. I can't stop myself from harming my self this way.
Brady1177
It is imperative you get help, check out the NADA website, www.NationalEatingDisorders.org , for more information and referrals to treatment centers in your area. You are worth it! I know it is expensive, but it is very difficult to recover without help. It is a shame that the adults in children's lives, such at teachers and coaches do such things to humiliate children about their weight. I'm sure many don't mean to be hurtful, but it doesn't take much to humiliate a child. They don't realize the damage they do with just a few words.
Please get help.
