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September 25, 2005, 9:07 am PDT
sorry if i'm posting too much
Quote From: gebhami think if ure feeling this way then yeh talk to someone definately. It couldnt hurt just to chat to someone who can understand wat your going through. Once you've spoken to someone for some time and talked out all of how your feeling, then its bound to be much clearer in your head what you want. After all, surgery is a big step and couldnt hurt just to chat to someone first. If at the end of talking etc you still feel the same way then its definately upto you what you should do. If you feel that it is the way you will be happy in life then you should, with the support of your friends if not family, go for what you feel is best. At the end of the day, if anatomically you can only be happy as male then you've got to take that chance. Its a long life to waste. Can you see yourself living till 80 as a woman and living a fulfilled life?
As for your parents, i think only you can answer that. If the support from your parents would help you through what will be a difficult time, then i would suggest trying to talk to them. After all, you are their daughter, and it might take time to get used to, but they would deep down want you to be happy, no matter how they react.  
I'd say dont worry so much about everyone else, you should focus on yourself right now, and make a decision which could be the most important one you ever make. Its your time! :) 
Sorry, a bit rambly and i dont really know what im talking about, but hey...theres my two pence worth :) hehe. 
G x  Thank you for your words Gebham.
I do believe that surgery will alway be my goal and I do plan on openly telling my parent (eventually) if they don't figure it out on there own. I do believe they will supportme; but the true test will be in abut two years. I want to wear a tux to prom. In a way it symbolizes my feelings, in another, I just don't want to wear a dress. My mom and I are already butting heads about this; I really only plan to go to my senior prom unless I'm invited to my junior. As I see it, if they can't handel something as small as me wearingb a tux in public, then they can't really support my ultimate choice of becomeing a man. It also means I'll miss every dance of my high school life. But I suppose I'll just take things as they come...
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