Replies to '03/14 Mr. Wrong'

Quote From: joeysmuneca

 I too an in the situation of marrying a man in prison for life.  It is SO easy to sit back and condem people who make life choices that  one doesn't understand or doesn't accept.  I would NEVER have believed myself to even be capable of  loving a man in prison for murder.  However  I  did come across a situation where i wanted to extend my support to this man after hearing his story on American Justice.  I was totally unaware of the publicity and controversy around this case but it  has been  on several crime shows and even an Ann Rule book about  the case.  I found this man to be the complete opposite of how he has been portrayed.  I fell in love with this man DESPITE his admonitions to not do that to myself.  Never once since I have known him have I ever questioned what he has told me not because I am naive and stupid but because he has never lied to me about anything.  His faith is the center of his life  and is actually the biggest obstacle that we have because I am not a religous person.  It is so amusing to read all these  arm chair psychologists explaining why women like myself  choose to get involved with these men.  I don't have low self esteem or issues with men.  I don't like "bad boys"  and I don't  have commitment fears.  I met a man who is truly a good and decent person .  Yes he did make a horrible mistake and he is paying for it.  Does that mean he is not entitled to be loved?  I always read the questions "what if it was someone you loved who was killed?" with interest.  I was a rape victim twice-the first time I was 17 and it was a  violent  assault with a knife by an acquaintance and the second time was 10 years later by a  serial rapist  who broke into my house and i awakened to him standing over me with a mask on; he raped over 2 dozen women before he was caught.  I didn't come to terms with that for 20 years BUT i never hated the man; I hated what he had done.  Only after I truly forgave him and wrote him a letter of forgiveness in prison was I able to start living again.  Forgiveness is a powerful thing and it really does more for the victim than the perpertrator.   It is so important that people not judge until they have been in the situation themself.  I love my husband very much and  I cannot imagine my life without him.  I know we won't be able to have sex but so what?  That has been one of my husband's concerns but I always tell him it is no different that if he had been in an accident and COULDN'T have sex.  If I couldn't have sex and he didn't want me for that reason people would condemn him so why would that even be a factor in my decison?    I  can tell judging from many of the remarks on this board that people like to think women who marry men in prison are suffering some mental defects or something.  Maybe we just don't put limits and labels on love.

Quote From: joeysmuneca

 I too an in the situation of marrying a man in prison for life.  It is SO easy to sit back and condem people who make life choices that  one doesn't understand or doesn't accept.  I would NEVER have believed myself to even be capable of  loving a man in prison for murder.  However  I  did come across a situation where i wanted to extend my support to this man after hearing his story on American Justice.  I was totally unaware of the publicity and controversy around this case but it  has been  on several crime shows and even an Ann Rule book about  the case.  I found this man to be the complete opposite of how he has been portrayed.  I fell in love with this man DESPITE his admonitions to not do that to myself.  Never once since I have known him have I ever questioned what he has told me not because I am naive and stupid but because he has never lied to me about anything.  His faith is the center of his life  and is actually the biggest obstacle that we have because I am not a religous person.  It is so amusing to read all these  arm chair psychologists explaining why women like myself  choose to get involved with these men.  I don't have low self esteem or issues with men.  I don't like "bad boys"  and I don't  have commitment fears.  I met a man who is truly a good and decent person .  Yes he did make a horrible mistake and he is paying for it.  Does that mean he is not entitled to be loved?  I always read the questions "what if it was someone you loved who was killed?" with interest.  I was a rape victim twice-the first time I was 17 and it was a  violent  assault with a knife by an acquaintance and the second time was 10 years later by a  serial rapist  who broke into my house and i awakened to him standing over me with a mask on; he raped over 2 dozen women before he was caught.  I didn't come to terms with that for 20 years BUT i never hated the man; I hated what he had done.  Only after I truly forgave him and wrote him a letter of forgiveness in prison was I able to start living again.  Forgiveness is a powerful thing and it really does more for the victim than the perpertrator.   It is so important that people not judge until they have been in the situation themself.  I love my husband very much and  I cannot imagine my life without him.  I know we won't be able to have sex but so what?  That has been one of my husband's concerns but I always tell him it is no different that if he had been in an accident and COULDN'T have sex.  If I couldn't have sex and he didn't want me for that reason people would condemn him so why would that even be a factor in my decison?    I  can tell judging from many of the remarks on this board that people like to think women who marry men in prison are suffering some mental defects or something.  Maybe we just don't put limits and labels on love.