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Replies to 'Abuse'
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January 22, 2007, 11:53 am PST
 Quote From: wildwood thanks for the offer figurnitout (?) I am NOT in denial, not at this late in the game. I am aware of what is "going on" to include my part in it. I am just ready for someone less "moody" and more interested in living life. I love so many things, and realize I cannot change him, only me. However, I am not young, and making the changes will take time.
I do think many who have "gotten out" and moved on would agree that it is a process to say the least. Many women are abused again by a system that is NOT equal to the task of protecting "escapees" from more abuse.
I recently read an article on how mediation is the worst for women, particularly abused women.
I often speak in "general terms" as I am more interested in the dynamics of it, and do not always "allude" to my own personal situation. I guess some find this "confusing', but interestingly not all women fit the "sterotypical" of no money, no resources, or an inability to "see" what is going on.
Just because you are in a "different" situation or place, or do not have the physical or other stuff ....doesn't mean you are "in denial".. Perhaps just being prudent, for your own situation.
Sometimes women can lose their children to the system, designed to protect the more casual liar (or abuser).
Thank you for your offer.........mostly I have my "plan" just thought I would visit and chat......for support or to get input. .........It was not my intent to see things go where they did. Truly I am not an aggressive person, but I am no fool either. Thanks
I do have trouble getting these boards to come up in order, and so I cannot find your post you refer to, can't find my own or the most current page either sometimes. My board comes up with the oldest not the newest post and I have trouble navigating to the most current page. I still don't understand just "how" the pages or posts are rotated. Could you explain? Wildwood, it might help if you log in when you come to the message boards. That way, the messages will be in chronological order, with the most recent one first/at the top. If you go offline for a while, you will be logged out, but you can just log in again when you come back. If the top post has a date of 2005, you know you need to log in again to get the recent ones on top. Make sense? Oh, when you are logged in, the "first" messages will be the most recent. When you're not, the "first" messages are the oldest. Now I may have just confused myself :~) Check it out and see if it works.
To look for a post--mine, for example--go to "search" and it will give you two boxes. Type "figuritout" in one and then select the marriage and family (or something similar) category. It will show you all of my posts and you can find the one you're looking for. I was hoping you had seen the one with the "my head is spinning" title.
You started your post with, "I am NOT in denial...." I hope you don't think I said you were, because I never mentioned denial. Maybe you're thinking of someone else.
I will agree that the process of leaving is difficult and "the system" hasn't made it any easier for me. The whole thing is a mess and I wish none of us had to do this, but that's just my fantasy. Let's get back to reality.
You mentioned women losing their children. Is your husband lying, trying to have your children taken away? Share if you want to.
So, you already have a plan to leave? Is there anything in particular you would like input on? I really don't want to get in the middle of your discussions with other people who are posting to you. Let me know if you want to talk.
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