Replies to 'Abuse'

 First, see if anyone in your local law enforcement will come out to take a report of child abuse. Insist they send an officer out.  Sheriff, pd or what ever your local law enforcement is..........if not that then the local child welfare office. Ask to speak to a case worker. You children seem old enough to be credible.  Say nothing or as little as possible yourself. Let your children relay the order of events. (you do not want to seem to be coaching the kids as to what to say).

Once you have a record or report. Even a paper trail of your attempt to do something about this. Dates, calls made and times etc.

 Ask for an immediate hearing with the judge, courts or attorney or anyone involved with the custody.  ANYONE you have dealt with that has been involved with the case (a sympathatic ear, may move mountains or get others to). You kids may NOT be legally bound to see him, due to their ages.  Laws vary each state.

If possible, once you have attempted to or have documentated this "incident", return to the attorney or abuse shelter attorney (pro bono) if your resourced are depleated, and demand an immediate rehearing concerning visitation or joint custody.  Ask to speak with a court ordered or approved child mediator, anyone.

 The systems are there USE THEM, get resourcefull as to who you call. JP, Sherriff, local pd, shelters, child welfare.  Tell anyone and everyone that possibly could help you, tell the school what happened.  They are required by law to report abuses and may be taken more seriously than you.  Have your children schedule a meeting with the school counselor.  Now SHE MUST report it to someone. Be careful NOT to be coaching or fabricating at all.  Let your children REPORT what happened to authorities.

Insist you offer your children protection, have a plan what they are  ok to do or  something that gives them a safe exit, should this happen again  or if the need to doso  should this EVER happen again. 

Tell them, yes he is Dad, but it is OK to call pd, if you feel "bodily harm" is occurring. Give them numbers to call for help, should it happen again.  If you don't document this, YOU may find to your suprise he files "parent alienation" on you, or interferring with HIS right to visitation, by picking them up.  LIARS LIE, ABUSERS LIE.  He is "out of control" and your family is used to "taking it" with nowhere to turn.  Find out where to turn. If one system fails go to another again and again sometimes it pays off, if not they will have your name on record as ATTEMPTING to do something.  (sympathitic ears can work wonders).   Reports, calls, TELL is the key word here. Document, and protect yourself, and your children.

If you don't use "the system and the grapevine, you cannot protect your kids".  Do not battle this alone, NEVER give up or think you can.  Your children are NOT his hitting posts. TELL TELL TELL.  Remain calm, let you kids do the talking.  Support their right to see their DAD verbally, but support their rights through TELLING what he does during these "visitations".  Oh yea take them to the doctor to be checked, again documentation, let THEM tell the doctor what happened. He too must report abuse (maybe?, not sure about that one) but you will  have the PAPER that you went (in reality some damage may have occurred).