Arica, i did not louse my mother as you did but i do know where your coming from,you see my father killed my younger brother when he was 17 years old, my father went to prison for 15 years, i had to know what happened just as you had to know, i went to the sherrifs dept and asked if i could see my father, you see i wasnt home the day all this took place,the investagators let me see my father, i was filled with pure hate till i laied my eyes on him, seeing him sit there all brused and battered from the attack my brother launched on him, i never thought my brother would ever raise a hand to our parents,but i was wrong,still that didnt warrant death by no means,i miss my brother every day of my life, my father pulled his 15 years in prison, that hurt me even more, but even the prison sentence he pulled for 15 years didnt come close to the punnishment he passed on him self, he was never the same, he too is dead now and has been for 17 years, him too i miss very much even if he did take my brothers life, but the point im really trying to let you know is , i wasnt able to begin to heal my self till i looked my father in the eyes and told him i forgive him, and i still loved him, that no matter what he was and would always be my father,if i could turn time back to the day my brother died i would follow my heart and go home when my heart was telling me to instead of helping a friend rebuild a damn engine for his friend, i could have stoped all this from happening if i had only went home when everything in me was trying to tell me to go home.but the biggest message here is dont let hate take away the love in your heart, keep it alive it can and will grow, read this 2 times and just think about how much pain ur father is feeling today about his past life, i know that will never bring your mother back, but you do not have to louse your father as well, only god can punish him worse than hes already punnished himself.
