Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'

Quote From: dee0123

Hello...I just read your post, and I agree with you completely...we ALL have our insecurities, and a past...I've been to counseling, and read lots of books...so, all I can do is to continue working on it...but, we do have to be 'smart' and keep a little of that 'wall" up...and I know for with me, IF I see those 'red flags', of course I have to be careful...and IF I see something going on in the relationship, I feel I'm willing to work it through...(with that person) but can you tell me, what IF that other person, keeps doing the same thing over and over again...(after we've worked it through)...then what?  one thing I've came to realize because I get scared, was that I tend to run away from the problem...try and pull back...but, we've gotten a few sessions of counseling together...and I realized the things I needed to work on, was that...and now I may have to have a little 'me time', but I'm coming right back to talk about it..OR I let him know that I'm sorry...OR that we will talk about it, just give me a little time to think about it...NOW, my problem IS there's something that I'm having a problem dealing with...(with him) and it's hurting me left and right...and every time I think we've worked it out, he goes and does the same thing?  then what?  He tells me he needs time to make those changes...and yet, it's been already 5 mos..and he still tells me, he needs time...I don't think it's a matter of 'time', I just think we are on a totally different path in our lives....I FEEL HE"S NOT ready for a relationship...I've told him that...Anyway, thanks for your response to hobart...I think you gave good advice, but could you also hear my side too?  I think we ALL can say we've been vulnerable to 'love'...and because of that 'falling in love stuff' we are blinded by certain things...UNTIL we WAKE UP...and see what OUR future will be with that person....me and my guy, talks and talks and talks...just when I think we've worked things out...he (in my opinion) goes and does the opposite of what we just worked out..ALL THE TIME...so, that tells me, all those talks was a waste of time...don't u think?  because, the very next day, he does the OPPOSITE of what we just agreed on...IF he didn't agree or couldn't do it the way we discussed how we were going to work it out, then why does he continue doing the same exact thing, that got me hurt in the first place?  That's what I can't understand...and of course, I question 'love'...or IF it's going to work out..I would hate to continue putting my 'heart' on the line, just to see a life full of the same things happening....wouldn't you agree?  thanks again...  Dee