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February 1, 2007, 3:54 pm PST
02/01 A Difficult Reunion – Part 1
Quote From: flthomcatJust because YOU didn't need this type of closure doesn't mean others don't. We are all individuals with different wants and needs.
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I carried brick (of hatred and resentment) on my shoulders and into all my relationships until I decided to FORGIVE my father. For me, it's what changed my life for the better. He no longer controls me, I finally appreciate all the good that was in him (he made horrible mistakes, but his love for me was always evident...he just didn't know how to parent!) and I wake up with a clean slate (of happiess) every single morning. I also have a great relationship w/ a dying man who now has a daughter that has forgiven him and moved forward. I LOVE my father. I hate what he did to me, my sister and my mother, but I still love him. Forgiving does not mean forgetting.
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See, we are all different. Dr. Phil didn't miss any boat. You apparently have missed out on the part about people being individuals with different needs (different needs to be ABLE to move on). Please don't look down on others for needing something different than you do. The daughter deserves credit for being strong enough to face the man who killed her mother. I understand people need closure. But in a situation like this, the chances of getting anything comforting from it are nil. On the other hand, the chances of becoming embroiled in the life of a man who is dangerous and toxic and really ruining your life are very real and much more likely to happen than anything good coming out of it. My belief is that murderers should never be allowed to influence anyone ever again, much less their vulnerable prior victims. I have every sympathy of Erica. I know she is trying to ease her pain. I just think considering being a part of this man's life is the very opposite of the way to do it. I hope that at least her getting to express to him her pain will help her some way. Erica, please know I am not attacking you. I understand your impulse. I just don't think it could have come to any good end. I hope for your sake it does.
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