Quote From: marcia52I know that when I worked thru it, I had to do a lot of CONNECT-THE-DOTS work ... I had to understand that they weren't going to be mad at me, that they loved me .. and that I've done a lot worse in my life than stick up for myself. That's how we were taught to be .. authority figures are always hard and then you have adults .. and we just carried it over with us.
Planning is perfect ... I like to sit down and tell myself how good it's all going to turn out and then do it. sometimes, I'm scared up to that point .. however, if it's really going to be hard because there's a pattern in place .. I then just practice doing a little different.
Like when we are talking or doing ... I work on remembering to just to take 1 step back ... then then begin working on taking another step to the side or something ... that way, I'm slowly breaking the pattern. Took me awhile to learn it ... now I do it without thinking and because I had to disconnect from the "pattern" in place, I was finally able to stop myself from just repeating the same old self-distructive behaviors.
Right now, my car isn't working .. so I'm doing stuff .. being lazy .. however, I have walked twice out in the cold .. they say it's the worse weather we have experienced in a long time. We may get a break next Tuesday!
M
Marcia, I've also figured out that I'm very sensitive when it comes to "authority" people who critics me (of course sometimes the critic is all negative). I'm learning to not take the critic as my truth and a reflection of my value, I just take in the critic for evaluation and than desides whether or not is something I want take on board or put in the trash.
This is a new way, a side-step, for me to start changing my lifepattern. I'm glad I'm sensitive and not coldhearted.
