Replies to 'Too Much Discipline?'

Quote From: fireangel2007

I honestly wish sometimes i wasn't pakistani so i wouldn't  have to worry about what society will say if  i took my mom on Dr. Phil. I've been secretely crying myself to sleep almost everynight for the last 15 years. Everyday from what i can remember i've been mentally tortured by my mother, even though the physical abuse was bad when we were younger, im 21 and she occassionally will throw things at me and being me i usually laugh it off and it ends. But lately i quit my job to study for the MCATS, my grades suck but i have that hope that i will get in somewhere so im fighting real hard to make sure i don't become her or anything similar to her.  Coming from family whose every move is watched is really hard and its not like we did anything wrong but we have the 2nd largest family in our community including all my aunts and uncles. But anyways, so i quit my job of 4 years to continue studying and everynight or even day she'll come into my room and with pure and utter jealousy stare at me like shes going to kill me and tell me over and over and over and over again how much of a burden i am and that as soon as my dad dies she will marry me off to someone and she doesn't care who it is, imagine all that plus side comments about what a 'stupid bitch' i am and how i will never prosper in my marriage and what not...every single day....i hate my mom and i hate her more than i have hated any one person in my life and i don 't care what anyone says.

I honestly thinks shes jealous of the fact that im stubborn enough to be making sure i get my education and i don't give a rats ass about what she thinks about it. Thanks to my brother whose notorious behavior has overshadowed my existence and needs, i have spent all of highschool and college so far failing and trying to get up and moving.....and i continue...but honestly i've thought about suicide so vividly and have attempted it atleast 2 times...obviously unssuccessul.....my mother wanted to become a nurse and she met the 'love' of her life and married him and defferred admission to a nursing school...is that my fault? I make sure my only priority in life is my career, so much so that i haven't had a serious relationship with anyone ever.....and i think shes jealous...i honestly think that....and i believe it......

I curse myself for being born in this house because i've never had a truly happy moment when im around my family.......

If its possible it would be nice if a similar story to mine would be aired because my mother does watch this show, so maybe just maybe...she'll change.....even for a day.....

SL