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Replies to 'General Advice'
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February 9, 2007, 11:07 am PST
 Quote From: momsrcool Innapropriate Father/Daughter Conduct I have been dating a man. He began to tell me that he liked to run around his home without any clothing. He has part time custody of his 8 year old daughter. He is 42. They both have birthdays next month. Next he told me that he showered with his daughter. He did say that he had stopped showering with her recently and that he had stopped walking around nude. But 2 nights ago as he phoned me very late, almost 11 pm, his daughter was still awake on a school night and he told her to get into his bed with him. I was horrified. I could hear on the phone that he was intimately pulling her up into his body and then he wanted to have an explicit conversation with me with his child listening. I confronted him about this behavior and he began to back peddle and make excuses as I was threatening to tell the authorities. He stated she wasn't sleeping with him that often, but he did say she didn't have sheets or a comforter for her bed. I found that odd as it is very cold and why would she not have covers if she used her bed? He also told me that she always left the bathroom door open when she was in there for him to look at her, but closed it when anyone else was around. He stated they had a very close relationship like that. That he just "loved her" and that in Europe this would be no big deal. Well, they live in a small town in Delaware. I asked him when he would begin setting boundaries and shutting the door and not sleeping with his daughter. He said maybe age 13. He told me I was making a big deal out of nothing and exaggerating the whole thing. I know a lot of parents have different parenting styles, but this behavior seems very very predatorial. I called a child counselor I know and they alerted CPS in Delaware, but I know it will probably amount to nothing, and I have not been able to sleep for the last two nights. I'm curious as to what other parents think as well???!!! this is definitely inappropriate. i mean if it were just one of the things u listed above, i would be like hmm whats going on. but showering together, bathroom open, sleeping together, walking around naked, and the pathetic excuses...to me they add up to something that could be very bad. no big deal in europe? i dont buy it. i think he's either a pedophile who may be molesting or someone who's finding the wrong outlets for his emotional (and maybe sexual) needs. |
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February 11, 2007, 5:57 am PST
Quote From: momsrcool Innapropriate Father/Daughter Conduct I have been dating a man. He began to tell me that he liked to run around his home without any clothing. He has part time custody of his 8 year old daughter. He is 42. They both have birthdays next month. Next he told me that he showered with his daughter. He did say that he had stopped showering with her recently and that he had stopped walking around nude. But 2 nights ago as he phoned me very late, almost 11 pm, his daughter was still awake on a school night and he told her to get into his bed with him. I was horrified. I could hear on the phone that he was intimately pulling her up into his body and then he wanted to have an explicit conversation with me with his child listening. I confronted him about this behavior and he began to back peddle and make excuses as I was threatening to tell the authorities. He stated she wasn't sleeping with him that often, but he did say she didn't have sheets or a comforter for her bed. I found that odd as it is very cold and why would she not have covers if she used her bed? He also told me that she always left the bathroom door open when she was in there for him to look at her, but closed it when anyone else was around. He stated they had a very close relationship like that. That he just "loved her" and that in Europe this would be no big deal. Well, they live in a small town in Delaware. I asked him when he would begin setting boundaries and shutting the door and not sleeping with his daughter. He said maybe age 13. He told me I was making a big deal out of nothing and exaggerating the whole thing. I know a lot of parents have different parenting styles, but this behavior seems very very predatorial. I called a child counselor I know and they alerted CPS in Delaware, but I know it will probably amount to nothing, and I have not been able to sleep for the last two nights. I'm curious as to what other parents think as well???!!! OMG....this man is a molester! I can guarantee you that it "probably amount to nothing" if CPS knows this "man" is pulling his daughter up on him in HIS bed, showing with her, etc. If they DO turn a blind eye to it, I'd call this poor girls' mother. And I want to practically hug you to death for calling the counselor!! It started the ball rolling. I hate to tell him this, but it is NOT normal behavior in ANY country!!! Abuse is what it is...irregardless of where you are. Europeans might have a more relaxed attitude about sex and the naked body, but no one would agree that what's going on here is anything less than what it is....CHILD ABUSE. It doesn't matter HOW OFTEN she sleeps with him...but if she doesn't have sheets or a comforter on her bed, that suggests that she's sleeping with him REGULARLY. Lots of fathers have "close relationships" with their daughters, that doesn't involve nudity and sleeping and showering together. This man is a pedophile...no ifs, ands, or buts about it. I only hope that you continue to follow up on this...start screaming it from the rooftops if necessary. But if you've got a way to let the mother know what's going on, I'd do so. A call to CPS from you would certainly be in order as well. I would hope that you would get as far away from this man as you can. But saving this little girl first is of first importance. Then run....run as fast as you can...AWAY from him! |
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