Replies to '09/19 "Afraid of My Mom"'

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm   What is the definition of child abuse?

Child abuse consists of any act or failure to act that endangers a child's physical or emotional health and development. A person caring for a child is abusive if he or she fails to nurture the child, physically injures the child, or relates sexually to the child. 

What are the types of child abuse?

The four major types of child abuse are: 

• Physical abuse
• Sexual abuse
• Emotional abuse
• Neglect

Another type of abuse is child exploitation (distinct from sexual exploitation). This is the use of a child in work or other activities for the benefit of others. Child labor is an example of child exploitation for commercial reasons. Using a child in this way detracts from their own physical, mental, and social development. 

  What is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse is any attitude, behavior, or failure to act on the part of the caregiver that interferes with a child's mental health or social development. 

Other names for emotional abuse are: 

• verbal abuse
• mental abuse
• psychological maltreatment or abuse

Emotional abuse can range from a simple verbal insult to an extreme form of punishment. The following are examples of emotional abuse: 

• ignoring, withdrawal of attention, or rejection
• lack of physical affection such as hugs
• lack of praise, positive reinforcement, or saying "I love you"
• yelling or screaming
• threatening or frightening
• negative comparisons to others
• belittling; telling the child he or she is "no good," "worthless," "bad," or "a mistake"
• using derogatory terms to describe the child, name-calling
• shaming or humiliating
• habitual scapegoating or blaming
• using extreme or bizarre forms of punishment, such as confinement to a closet or dark room, tying to a chair for long periods of time, or terrorizing a child
• parental child abduction

Emotional abuse is almost always present when another form of abuse is found. Some overlap exists between the definitions of emotional abuse and emotional neglect; regardless, they are both child abuse. 

Emotional abuse of children can come from adults or from other children: 

• parents or caregivers
• teachers or athletic coaches
• siblings
• bullies at school
• middle- and high-school girls in social cliques

  

What are the results of child abuse?

Child abuse can have the following dire consequences:  

• Your child may become someone who lies, resents, fears, and retaliates, rather than loves, trusts, and listens.
• Your child may become reclusive, and alienated from you and from the rest of your family.
• Your child will have low self-esteem, and is likely to engage in self-destructive behaviors.
• Your child's psychological development and social behavior will be impaired.
• As an adult, your child may abuse his or her own children, who are your grandchildren.
• As an adult, your child may exclude you, including from celebrations and family gatherings. You may not be permitted to spend time with your grandchildren.

The results of being abused as a child vary according to the severity of the abuse and the surrounding environment of the child. If the social environment of the family or school is nurturing and supportive, the child will probably have a better outcome. 

  

Results of emotional abuse 

Emotional abuse can result in serious behavioral, cognitive, emotional, or mental disorders 

  

repeating what I pointed out on the incest and child sexual abuse message board for those who understand $$$$$$$$$...according to  

  

http://www.preventchildabuse.org/learn_more/cap_2002/cost_of_child_abuse_and_neglect.pdf  

  

Cost of Child Abuse &

   

   

 

  

Neglect in U.S. Estimated

   

   

 

  

at $258 Million Per Day  

I understand that you do not need to be on here.  But I have seen your posts on this subject 2 times now and posts on other subjects before, so you have plenty of time.  This is not a personal attack nor is it a defence of them but all I was trying to do is put another point of view on the subject.  I definatly see the scars you have from your childhood, but what did your parents do about it?  Atleast these people are getting help, from what I can see.  As for a medical condition........you are extremely nieve to think that may have no roll in  this.  Autisim, turrets, bi-polar disorder and many more things like these are all curable with over the counter medications right?  Please stop and think.  NONE of us know what truly happened in this situation, and odds are that we will never know,  so at this point all we can do is guess and make assumptions.  So good luck with your problems. And just my opinion for you, if you have that many problems stop worring about others and handle your buisness.  The only other option is to maybe see Dr. Phil and see what he can do for you on the other side of the camera.

I dont think you can fully grasp the damage unless you have been through the same.  So to answer your question, in my opinion, no I dont think anyone other then survivors can truley completley understand the life long effects. 

   

  

Im sorry you felt the need to defend yourself to this particular poster.  Im even sorrier for the abuse you suffered as a child!    Please know there are many on this board who do understand your anger at seeing/hearing of such things and feel the exact same as  you.  I do not think anger over hearing of an abusive parent is wrong.  Imo, it is far more wrong to not be angered!  That is when it becomes acceptable and that is a much worse stance to take.  I often think people throw around those "We shouldnt judge" comments because its far easier to take that stance then to bother taking any sort of action.  After all, for one to act, you must first make a judgement that there is innapropriate behavior warranting action.    If no one was willing to step down off their pedestals and become the "judgemental" type, then there would never be any chance of protecting innocents. 

  

So as far as im concerened, you have the right idea!