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Replies to '09/19 "Afraid of My Mom"'
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September 19, 2005, 1:31 pm PDT
 Quote From: stephyweph I'm a mother who was also abused as a child but the thing is I used to be a great mother. I spent all the time in the world protecting my children from the outside world but then when the outside world became involved with me and my family. People threating social services due to lack of money and such. I became overly protective of how my children dress and behave to where I turned into the ugly screaming mother only to protect my children from turning into the neighborhood rats that we have around here. I also feel that its not the mothers complete fault of lashing out. Maybe she screams so loud so that her husband can hear and maybe just maybe he would like to become the disipliner. Maybe she is tired of being the one all the time with kids stuck up her butt with mommy this and mommy that. Why can't the man just simply say leave your mother alone.I've got it. I think I've got the same disorder because I've noticed that no matter how much work I put into my family, my husband isn't accountable for any of it. Sure he can introduce us when its good but when social services comes knocking on the door, he just has to point the finger at her and say," well she is with the children more, thats why they don't do anything and thats why they are scared of her." Sure he can sit ther infront of dr. phil and say I want it to stop but I really don't think he does because he's living the easy life. You saw in the video how after all was said and done with the screaming and what not , he just left and said I can't deal with this right now. Low and behold look who is still left with the cleaning and children. True some women should have children but most of us didn't think we were going to be raising them alone and lets face it. She is alone, even with him there, he doesn't help or else this wouldn't be an issue. I'm just saying not to get mad at her because she doesn't have any control and maybe she should yell at him, but maybe what she needs is friends that can help and a husband that helps instead of blaming everything on her. As a mother watching this show & then seeing all the posters here in shock & horror of this womans behavior & then to see you defend her or relate in a way where you are justifying her (&your behavior) it means you're in troube too. Not only are you in trouble but so are your KIDS. While everyone is sitting here wondering why the father didn't truely come to the rescue of his daughters (frankly I thought he was at a loss of what to do) you're wondering why he didn't come to the rescue of his wife?! I'm a mom too & I understand how difficult it can be when we're raising kids & they don't always do the right thing & they don't always listen & they can have selective hearing, but they're not doing this to be mean to mom & mom doesn't need protection. They're the kids & SHE'S the adult. If she needs a time out then she should be grown up enough to realize it & take it period. She shouldn't be waiting for anything. When you said "look who's left behind" I thought you were going to say "the kids" but you're still seeing the mother in need. The kids have been traumatized by this woman & yes he's walking away because that's how he DOES CONTROL himself. That was his time out he gave himself. An adult has to recognize it & then take it. & in reality what I heard him say was "I can not deal with *you* right now". He was not speaking of the situation with the kids he was talking about dealing with his wife's her of control anger. With that said it wasn't her that was left with the kids & cleaning it was the KIDS that were left with HER & the CLEANING. You didn't see that?
I watched this father kooooo to his daughter to pry her out of a closet where she was sitting hyperventilating & then proceeding to toss her cookies & you think it isn't her complete fault or that she has no control? Certainly she does but first she has to see she's got a problem & if your view is this distorted I believe you've got to see this too. If social services are at your house perhaps it's a distorted view that prevents you from seeing that it isn't just because of a "lack of money & such" Unless the such is you screaming & brow beating the kids. I think what you need is to RUN not walk to the first therapist you can find & help sort out your problems. If it's not really a anger management problem then you'll at least have someone to talk out what's on your mind. & all that stuff about you protecting your kids from society I do understand, but if you're verbally & emotionally abusing them they need protection from you! |
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