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Replies to '09/19 "Afraid of My Mom"'
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September 20, 2005, 6:29 am PDT
 Quote From: momakababe As a stay at home mother of (nearly grown now) 3 boys, 2 of which are twins, I can honestly say we all lose our temper & say things we don't mean, but that was not the case here. This woman wasn't just losing her temper & yelling on occasion she was screaming at the top of her lungs & demeaning, degrading & threatening bodily harm *all the time*. Even when they were in the car the woman was out of control & a danger to herself, her children & others using her car as a weapon. The difference here in what you've done is that you are being human & saying something you don't mean & then immediately apologized & STOPPED what you're doing. This woman while she was on Dr.Phil still could hardly say what she was doing was not right and was claiming her actions were justified. When you start to lose control you do see & stop & you do a 180, this shows your kids you're human, but this woman only shows she's a bully who's capable of much more than the screaming. Imagine the fear those little girls must face every day? but I have NEVER called my kids names (curses or otherwise). I would never even call them stupid. I might say something like "Why are you ACTING stupid. You are not stupid. Please stop acting that way." I am very careful to not say something in anger that you will regret -- it can't be taken back.
But the other day after a long day of being home with my two kids alone and having clened up the same mess 4 times already, I was yelling at my four year old for creating and not cleaning up the mess again. I looked at him and he was so upset (maybe even scared) -- I didn't like him feeling that way AND TO KNOW I HAD MADE HIM FEEL THAT WAY -- it just tore me up inside! I stopped yelling and just hugged both of my kids (2 year old was just staring at me too!) and told them that mommy was sorry for yelling and that I didn't mean to scare them. I told them I love them and asked them to help me clean up the mess. We talked about what they did was wrong but that mommy yelling was wrong too and we all agreed to do better.
I just can't imagine looking at your children and seeing them hurting and not helping them -- to call them on their "drama" is ridiculous. I have a stepson who is a drama king but I don't call him names or not believe him when he is throwing up -- that would just add to the drama!
And to go on national tv and say that your first child was a mistake and that HE wanted his own child so they had the second one is horrible and cruel. How does she not have maternal instincts? Her trying to justify her actions was to blame everyoe else -- her father for the first child and her hubby for the second!
There are times that we experience road rage or get mad at someone when we are driving, for example, but I watch what I say because of the kids -- sometimes I might slip and my 4 year old says "Mommy you cursed!" And then I tell him that was wrong and I apologize. When Daddy cursed the other night he told Daddy to say he was sorry or go in the corner! ;-)
I hope Dr. Phil is able to help the kids. I think the mom is beyond help but hopefully I am wrong -- I am not a doctor....I just can't relate to her at all. And as for the dad -- I have no sympathy for him as he is letting this happen..........BTW< who contacted Dr. Phil was it the dad or the mom or someone outside of the family? I missed that...
Thanks for "listening".
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