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Replies to 'Anorexia'
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March 11, 2007, 12:51 am PST
 Quote From: ballerina_gil My name is Gillian, i am 24 and have had anorexia for 13years. I live in the UK where treatment centres are few aand far between. Last year i was given 3 days to live my weight flling to 3 st 7lbs. I havent eaten for 3years i am fed only by naso gastric tube, i cannot put anything in my mouth not even my meds. I have been in and out of psychiatric wards most my life, being sectioned (put in hopspital against my will) restrained (held down by members of staff) force fed. The list is endless. Right now i am 65lbs i am suffering from low potassium, low BP, seizures. I cannot get funding for treeatment, and i have but given up on ever being better. I know i am going to die, but i cannot see a way out of this, i really have tried countless amounts of times but never been able to do it. Its now only a waiting game to see how long anorexia will keep me here. I cant take much more and death seems like the only option. Im not even scared. I feel peace when i think of death,it will be my only freedom.
Ballerina_gil Gillian,
I know things must seem hopeless at this point. I have been in inpt. treatment for my anorexia five times, and there have been times that I wanted to give up. I am doing much better, but still struggle with my mind.
I had a friend who was extremely ill with her anorexia. She had a PEG tube that was surgically insterted in her stomach for a few years, and she was in a nursing home for over two years. She seemed like a hopeless case and was expected to die, but she survived. It took years to recover, but she is now living a fulfilling life.
You can recover. Right now you cannot do it on your own; however, nobody else can do all the work for you. You have to make the decision for yourself that you are going to recover no matter what it takes. No more fooling around, no more excuses; it is time to take this VERY SERIOUSLY. I think you are taking this very seriously. It sounds like you need to get to a long-term care facility, probably at least one or two years. I would be writing and calling every place I can think of. You MUST fight for your life, because you are the only one who can. People can support you, but the work is your's to do. YOU CAN DO IT, but only if you REALLY want to. Recovery has to be your #1 desire; nothing else can come before it.
I hope that you hang on long enough to get the help you need. Obviously, your life is at major risk, but it is not too late. It is never too late until your last breath. You must want to live. If you see death as a good option at this point, you will not make it. You are too sick. I hope and pray that you can survive this. Please keep us updated. I seriously hope that you can make things turn around and get your life back.
Amanda |
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