Quote From: sarahjs26dr. phil always says it takes 1000 thata girl to take away 1 bad comment. I think, i know cause it has worked on my youngest son, he was a temper tantrum taker, big time, along with all that involves. don't forget, one on one, draw picture sing songs play video games(non violent). do what ever gives you that good loving quality time with your child as much as possibe, and your child will learn to be just as kind to the other people in his\her life, because you showed them how.
During the foster/adopt classes my husband and I took, the instructors showed a great video that I can't remember the title of, but it was essentially why some kids excell with positive outlooks and why they don't crumple after a bad comment, day... It was something to do with poker chips. I should look it up.
It was in reference to special needs children. The thousand atta boy's were poker chips in this reference. The kid who has received the thousand poker chips, but gets hit with a 100 chip loss due to being called stupid, etc, will recover much quicker than the child who is trying desparately to hold on to only 5 poker chips they've received.
We did have some temper tantrums (recently over the summer) with our 5yo, but we've found that we are mirror to him. If we don't lose control unnecessarily (i.e. yelling, screaming), and simply state consequences in a matter of fact way, we were able to reduce the tantrums to nearly 0. My behavior models how we expect our kids to act. And if tantrums or other negative behaviors happen, we are very clear that priviledges get lost--esp with our 5yo since our other two boys are in their 20's:-) We've been able to easily rein in the positive, and those "poker chips" are just flying into our 5yo's hands!
