Replies to 'General Advice'
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September 20, 2005, 7:17 pm PDT
 Quote From: brit_angel This might take a bit of explaining so you'll have to bear with me. My name is Rick & I'm an 18 yr old College Student from England. During the Summer Holidays the Assistant Manager of the Cancer Research Store I volunteer at brought in her two Nephews (the youngest being ten & the oldest being eleven) on a number of days. I get along pretty well with the pair of them as well as the A.M. and her Mother.
Most recently I found out about the boys family background : They were completely rejected by their Mother and now have (from what I can tell) no contact with her. On top of that because their Father travels around alot they bearly see him. I was told that the A.M. & her Mother went to court and won custody of the boys & they now live with them.
Now on to the part I need advice on :
At the weekend while the two boys were visiting the store I got chatting with the eldest of the two boys. When we went up onto the Store roof (there's like a stair way you can use you go up onto it) it was brought to my attention that he smokes ! At 11 ! This has seriously troubled me since he told me. What really tore me up though was when I tried to explain to him about the side effects (not enforcing them upon him - just politely explaining) he just replied with (when told about the shortened life span) "Oh well I'd only spend that hour causing trouble" !
I know I probably have no right to interfear but this has been seriously bugging me. The thing is I think my A.M. might have a part to place in this. She always seems to be praising the Youngest boy and Scolding the eldest.
Apparently the eldest has some behavioural issues that they have been seeing Doctors & such about which probably stem from his Family background but could that cause him to want to smoke ?
I know he's a good kid , I just know it - I just think he needs some moral support/guidance rather than being scolded. He's alright most of the time when he's with me - I mean sure he can be abit rude & doesn't always listen when you ask him to do something but what 11 yr old doesn't ?
I would approach my A.M. about this but on some levels I worry that it might not be my place to say as I've not seen how the boy acts at home & she might take it the wrong way.
I'm sorry I'm really rambling on now but if anyone could give me advice on what to do her I'd be most greatful. I don't really get a chance to see him all that often but I know if I could just sit down with him on a regular basis and just talk with him that I could get through to him I just know it !
I don't know if Robin reads this area but if you do I'd appreciate your input on this issue.
Thanking you all in advance ,
Rick Cole
KEY : A.M. = Assistant Manager Sounds like you really care for this kid and that is to be admired. Coming froma n abusive and disfunctional home myself, I undersatand a little about what this child may be thinking. In all honesty, I think you should just try to be there as much as you can and be nice and caring towards him. Maybe you can be like a big brother to him and invite him to a ball game or something that he is interested in. Befriend him and compliment him when you can. Talking to your A.M. could cause a little bit of a problem even if it is just some insecurities or may build some tension in her. Maybe you can approach her and talk to her about playing a role in his life and offering to babysit and do things with him,This way, you will come in contact with him and get to know him. Be an encourager and help him with his homework, I know with my self, I had some great mentors as a teen ager and if it were not for them, I am not so sure where Iwould be right now. Be a positive influence in his life, be honest but caring as well. And in time, he will thank you for it. Don't expect anything in return as it sounds like he needs some self esteem built up and all, just be his friend and be there for him. It will be better then risking your relationship with your A.M. and it will be worth it. |
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