Replies to 'Divorce Support'

Thanks everyone. I am trying to keep the communication open and have expressed interest in working out our problems but she is very hesitant. She says she's just had enough and is tired of being unhappy. It really bothered me though when I asked her, does she know for sure what makes her so unhappy and she said no. In my eyes I would want to know the cause of the problem before I tried to fix it. I feel she's just misplacing that unhappiness onto me because of some things that irritate her (but every relationship has them). She's even open to the possibility of her being dpressed or the unhappiness is with her and that makes a divorce even more upsetting.

I know she's always had a problem with me staying at home. Part of it was that she wished she could do it and part of it was that she wanted me to work. She said she respected me more when I was contributing financially. I can see her point on that but I can also see, that while she brought home so much money, that I could actually find something I liked to do after my son went to preschool (which is this year...he already goes for 1 hour, 1X a week). If my working situation was the main problem it would have been solved really soon so it kills me that she's doing this now. I use the analogy that "it's like running 3/4 of the race and you can see the finish line ahead but you want to quit now". Why go through all that hard work to stop when the end it so close.

And just to be clear, we aren't struggling financially. I could see her point alot better if we lived paycheck to paycheck and couldn't afford things but we don't . She works 3 days a week (off Wednesday-Sunday) and makes the equivalent of 4-5 times what individual people in my area make. Thats why I don't see why she can't try to work on things until my son goes to preschool and I start working and see if that makes her any happier.

I'm just really confused right now. I emailed Dr. Phil to get on the show and I'm praying that I can (so if anyone from the show is readin gplease put us on the air). As for the lawyer I'm still looking. I'm unsure how to go about it because she has all the money in her account (she's blocked my access) and I don't have anything. I''m resorting to selling everything that is mine just to get some money for the initial cost of a lawyer. Thats really upsetting as well.

Most people know that, while there are exceptions, woman get the better end of the deal in divorces. It's usually the husband paying alimony, child support, leaving the house, and if so paying  for the wife to live there until she can afford it herself. I'm just scared that the judge will look at it as I'm lazy & not working and award the house,kids, and everything else to her because I can't afford it. Then if I do get a part-time job now it's just another divorce and she'll get the house & kids like most divorces go. Thats why I'm afraid to be kicked out of my house. This family has meant everything to me and I would live in a cardboard box and be happy as long as I had them.

Thanks everyone. I am trying to keep the communication open and have expressed interest in working out our problems but she is very hesitant. She says she's just had enough and is tired of being unhappy. It really bothered me though when I asked her, does she know for sure what makes her so unhappy and she said no. In my eyes I would want to know the cause of the problem before I tried to fix it. I feel she's just misplacing that unhappiness onto me because of some things that irritate her (but every relationship has them). She's even open to the possibility of her being dpressed or the unhappiness is with her and that makes a divorce even more upsetting.

I know she's always had a problem with me staying at home. Part of it was that she wished she could do it and part of it was that she wanted me to work. She said she respected me more when I was contributing financially. I can see her point on that but I can also see, that while she brought home so much money, that I could actually find something I liked to do after my son went to preschool (which is this year...he already goes for 1 hour, 1X a week). If my working situation was the main problem it would have been solved really soon so it kills me that she's doing this now. I use the analogy that "it's like running 3/4 of the race and you can see the finish line ahead but you want to quit now". Why go through all that hard work to stop when the end it so close.

And just to be clear, we aren't struggling financially. I could see her point alot better if we lived paycheck to paycheck and couldn't afford things but we don't . She works 3 days a week (off Wednesday-Sunday) and makes the equivalent of 4-5 times what individual people in my area make. Thats why I don't see why she can't try to work on things until my son goes to preschool and I start working and see if that makes her any happier.

I'm just really confused right now. I emailed Dr. Phil to get on the show and I'm praying that I can (so if anyone from the show is readin gplease put us on the air). As for the lawyer I'm still looking. I'm unsure how to go about it because she has all the money in her account (she's blocked my access) and I don't have anything. I''m resorting to selling everything that is mine just to get some money for the initial cost of a lawyer. Thats really upsetting as well.

Most people know that, while there are exceptions, woman get the better end of the deal in divorces. It's usually the husband paying alimony, child support, leaving the house, and if so paying  for the wife to live there until she can afford it herself. I'm just scared that the judge will look at it as I'm lazy & not working and award the house,kids, and everything else to her because I can't afford it. Then if I do get a part-time job now it's just another divorce and she'll get the house & kids like most divorces go. Thats why I'm afraid to be kicked out of my house. This family has meant everything to me and I would live in a cardboard box and be happy as long as I had them.