|
March 16, 2007, 10:54 am PDT
wow!!!
Quote From: mrmom32I live in Ohio. Though I dont' know all the Ohio laws regarding these issues I worry that I will be discriminated against because Ilive is a small town where the man is supposed to work and if you don't your a bumb. I can see that sterotype spilling over into the court room. I am all for anything that will save my marriage and I have mentioned going to a marriage counsilor in recent days but she thinks it is best that I go for myself before we worry about going for our marriage and I guess if thats what it takes then I will start that process. She has been going to a counsilor for a little while now to work out issues that she has. It confuses me though that she wouldn't have a better understanding of whats making her unhappy since she does go to counsiling. I asked her if they ever talked about it and she said yes but apparently she doesn't know anymore now.
I would like to point out that her going to a counsilor now and in the past has been for a problem that we experienced in the past. Back when we were young and stupid we had a threesome with another woman. Soon after my wife began to hate me for that. It wasn't anyone's idea to have one, it just happened but she still has anger for me because she still pictures me with another woman.....and I can understand that. She also went out and had an affair soon after and I have a hard time dealing with that sometimes. It's better when things are going great between us but there's always those times where it just comes into mind for no reason. Thats why she went to a counsilor in the first place but she stopped after a while because things were so good between us. That was a few years ago and now she's back at the counsilor's for that and her unhappiness. I can understand her still having anger because of the threesome deal cause it angers me too but I thought it was something we got past.
Not sure if that has something to do with all this but she's never mentioned that as the reason she's unhappy now. She did bring it up lastnight that she still thinks about that stuff though. Your life is a soap opera!!! threesomes; boyfriends whatever. Okay; What i would suggest is maybe a marriage retreat. They are not cheap but there is also a great doctor who is Harville Hendrix. He wrote a couple of marriage books. They are good. He also does something called imago therapy where the two couples have to imagine how they were when they were in love and happy. It really works but only if you two want to try it. See if your wife wants to try the marriage retreats. Has she said its over and over and there is nothing left to save of the marriage? If that is the case you have to let her be and hope that she will come back on her own. You know that saying. If you love her set her free!!!
|
