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March 16, 2007, 5:22 pm PDT
Keep it up
Quote From: mrmom32Thanks. Like I said, I feel as though there is hope but I just need something to make her open up. If we could sit down and have her honestly tell me things like "I don't really want a divorce but I'm not happy with this and that" then we could know where our starting point is and take steps to correct these things. Or it could all be wishful thinking on my part and I'm trying to get back what used to be. I've been trying to kiss her and show her that I still love her but she doesn't kiss back (but then again she doesn't push me away either). We've also had sex recently and the next morning she wanted me to lay with her (we're in sperate bedrooms) and we fell alseep like that for an hour. So things like that make me think there is hope and she's being stuborn about what she really wants cause she's so mad.
Any ideas how to get her to open up and start being honest like we need to be if we want to figure anything out? Sounds like you are making a start. Keep holding her and showing her affection. She may be afraid to open up to you; that you may react badly to what she has to say. Tell her let you know how she is 'feeling' - that you won't take it as blaming anyone or anything; you just want to allow her to have a 'safe place' to open up without criticism, judgement or any of that nonsense. You must really listen to her and not get upset, because, she is telling you how she is FEELING about things; not that it is correct or right or wrong. Then you can talk and show her she can say anything to you withou you getting defensive or upset. That is a start. Our egos get in the way of really listening to what someone has to say - we yell back - blame - criticize and then people are afraid to open up to us. Let her know she can do so; you want to get to the bottom of it and go on with your marriage. Take care - mmarie
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