Quote From: ritehereThe way you put your concerns in the post makes your wife look like a self-punishing work-a-holic. May be she is. Or maybe there's more to the story. Does she feel an obligation to look after her parents? At heart, is she afraid that if she leaves they will fall completely into the pit of alcoholism? Are your motives pure, or are you driven by a need to separate your wife and her mother? And you have to be brutally honest with yourself on that one, because moving for the reasons you list is a good decision. But you see, if your wife is sensing an ulterior motive from you, she would feel like you are forcing her to choose between people that she loves, in DIFFERENT ways. My suggestion is to find a solution that includes her parents. That way you are not forcing her to make a decision that she feels unable to make, she will have more time for everybody, and will see you as the hero.
Part of it is true that I would like to see her here less dependant on her mom for emotional support and more dependant on her family(ie.. Her kids and myself). I understand and mother daughter relationship but her mom and her are very depentant on each other to the point of my wife feeling a sence of obligation to her due tothe fact ther her toher daughter is not fairing well on her personal war of drugs(her older daughter is in a bd way). My thought is that my wife feels she must keep her mom happy at all costs.
I offered to move with my family and invited her mom and her Step father for live with us in a state were all is easier but her mom is anchored here and so as mom goes so goes the daughter(my wife).
I just get so tired of working so hard out here in san diego and not getting ahead. I love my wife and family and I would never do anything that would hurt my kids emotionally. i come from a broken home and vowed my kids will always have 2 parents inthe house, barring alcoholism or abuse or drugs.
I really don't belive their is a resolution other thatn to just live with it and secrectly moarn the loss of a nicer life.
