Replies to 'Depression'

  Thank you for your comments. I agree with most of what you said. However, the team of psychiatrists that treated me at Logan Hospital did not treat me as an outpatient. The psychiatrist that I saw as an outpatient was a registrar who worked on the open ward only and also worked at the local Community Health Centre. He was the only one who treated me with any dignity and was willing to help me. The psychs at Logan Hospital simply advised me to go to a private hospital and have CBT as in the end they told my parents that I only had a behavioural problem ! I went to the private hospital to enquire about their program. The psychiatrist there spoke to me for an hour and then told me that their program was unsuitable for me. He said that I would simply become lost in the group CBT that they provided. I would only benefit from one-on-one therapy according to him.

  Feeling rather confused as to what to do next I went back to my psychiatrist and told him. He had no actual experience with CBT as patients are not offered any therapy other than drugs or ECT at Logan Hospital. He then told me that he had resigned from his position at Logan & the Community Centre. He offered to  see me at Toowong Private Hospital and work with the guidance of a psychologist and give me one-on-one CBT. The psychs at Logan had no intention of ceasing the Clozaril & Seroquel or Efexor. That only stopped because I stopped it. Otherwise I know I would be dead right now. I would have successfully suicided or had a heart attack and died.

  When I had the outburst of anger it was because the staff really didn't talk to me and I had no outlet at all. When I was sedated and secluded , I was given too much Midazolam. I was also not given anything to eat and only one glass of water in more than 16 hrs. Consequently the next morning they told me to get into my bed and I could not stand. I crawled into my room and into bed. After an hour an RN walked into the room and snapped,"Get up! Your parents are here."  I began to walk toward my father and then collapsed on the floor. I was unable to open my eyes,move or speak but I could hear. She said to my parents," She's just bunging this on. You both go to the cafeteria and we'll deal with this. I'll come and get you soon."  I was clearly not "bunging it on" and had never even tried such a thing in the past. I could hear everything but could not respond. After a while I started to regain consciousness and tried to sit up. I could not manage it. An EN there had said to the RN that she didn't believe I was faking anything as I was extremely pale. She put a plastic chair with arms next to me and attempted to help me onto it. The RN barked,"Don't help her. She can do it herself. Theres's nothing wrong with her !" The EN disagreed and continued to help me up. She then took my blood pressure 60/40 mmhg ! Next the RN in a panic rang the doctor and said , " Young *****  has just collapsed and is very hypotensive. You'll need to come down and put up in an IV and order fluids !"  No doctor came and instead I was told by the nurse that it was because I had not been drinking enough this morning." You brought this on yourself. " Next they made me drink 250ml glasses of water ,glass after glass until I'd had nearly 2 litres and was ready to vomit.  Days later a doctor admitted that I had fainted as a result of too much Midazolam and they had not given me enough to drink whilst in seclusion. This was about the time I made my list of goals. I felt so dehumanised by what that staff member had done to me. She did not even look at me closely enough to know that I was unconscious. You cannot fake syncopy !  A professional can tell the difference. What if I had had a CVA or AMI ? How would she have known?  She was callous and irresponsible. I have worked occassionally on psych wards and I would always thoroughly check a collapsed person and not simply assume they were faking collapse. You cannot fake pallor  & hypotension! The only thing they got right there was their original diagnosis of depression & PTSD. Otherwise they did nothing more than animal herding there. The other psychiatrist was the only one willing to try to help me and actually achieved it.

  I believe that only a small percentage of people benefit from anti-depressants with or without CBT etc. I can say this with confidence as I have been in several hospitals during that period. I did not ever see any patient ,that I got to know ,actually get better and get off medications without it all going askew and then they were forced to keep taking and the cycle continued. If depression is mild then medication is not indicated.

    As far as the confidentiality issue was concerned he would not speak to my family at all. My sister was my next of kin and yet he would not even tell her as little as 'she is unchanged' or 'improving'. I'm sorry but I disgree that he had the right to not communicate at all with my next of kin. That is unethical. They were not asking for intimate details or interferring. I did not ask him to do that and he never told me that he had done it. I thought my family was simply disinterested and had given up on me because I never heard from them.

  Thank you for your comments. I agree with most of what you said. However, the team of psychiatrists that treated me at Logan Hospital did not treat me as an outpatient. The psychiatrist that I saw as an outpatient was a registrar who worked on the open ward only and also worked at the local Community Health Centre. He was the only one who treated me with any dignity and was willing to help me. The psychs at Logan Hospital simply advised me to go to a private hospital and have CBT as in the end they told my parents that I only had a behavioural problem ! I went to the private hospital to enquire about their program. The psychiatrist there spoke to me for an hour and then told me that their program was unsuitable for me. He said that I would simply become lost in the group CBT that they provided. I would only benefit from one-on-one therapy according to him.

  Feeling rather confused as to what to do next I went back to my psychiatrist and told him. He had no actual experience with CBT as patients are not offered any therapy other than drugs or ECT at Logan Hospital. He then told me that he had resigned from his position at Logan & the Community Centre. He offered to  see me at Toowong Private Hospital and work with the guidance of a psychologist and give me one-on-one CBT. The psychs at Logan had no intention of ceasing the Clozaril & Seroquel or Efexor. That only stopped because I stopped it. Otherwise I know I would be dead right now. I would have successfully suicided or had a heart attack and died.

  When I had the outburst of anger it was because the staff really didn't talk to me and I had no outlet at all. When I was sedated and secluded , I was given too much Midazolam. I was also not given anything to eat and only one glass of water in more than 16 hrs. Consequently the next morning they told me to get into my bed and I could not stand. I crawled into my room and into bed. After an hour an RN walked into the room and snapped,"Get up! Your parents are here."  I began to walk toward my father and then collapsed on the floor. I was unable to open my eyes,move or speak but I could hear. She said to my parents," She's just bunging this on. You both go to the cafeteria and we'll deal with this. I'll come and get you soon."  I was clearly not "bunging it on" and had never even tried such a thing in the past. I could hear everything but could not respond. After a while I started to regain consciousness and tried to sit up. I could not manage it. An EN there had said to the RN that she didn't believe I was faking anything as I was extremely pale. She put a plastic chair with arms next to me and attempted to help me onto it. The RN barked,"Don't help her. She can do it herself. Theres's nothing wrong with her !" The EN disagreed and continued to help me up. She then took my blood pressure 60/40 mmhg ! Next the RN in a panic rang the doctor and said , " Young *****  has just collapsed and is very hypotensive. You'll need to come down and put up in an IV and order fluids !"  No doctor came and instead I was told by the nurse that it was because I had not been drinking enough this morning." You brought this on yourself. " Next they made me drink 250ml glasses of water ,glass after glass until I'd had nearly 2 litres and was ready to vomit.  Days later a doctor admitted that I had fainted as a result of too much Midazolam and they had not given me enough to drink whilst in seclusion. This was about the time I made my list of goals. I felt so dehumanised by what that staff member had done to me. She did not even look at me closely enough to know that I was unconscious. You cannot fake syncopy !  A professional can tell the difference. What if I had had a CVA or AMI ? How would she have known?  She was callous and irresponsible. I have worked occassionally on psych wards and I would always thoroughly check a collapsed person and not simply assume they were faking collapse. You cannot fake pallor  & hypotension! The only thing they got right there was their original diagnosis of depression & PTSD. Otherwise they did nothing more than animal herding there. The other psychiatrist was the only one willing to try to help me and actually achieved it.

  I believe that only a small percentage of people benefit from anti-depressants with or without CBT etc. I can say this with confidence as I have been in several hospitals during that period. I did not ever see any patient ,that I got to know ,actually get better and get off medications without it all going askew and then they were forced to keep taking and the cycle continued. If depression is mild then medication is not indicated.

    As far as the confidentiality issue was concerned he would not speak to my family at all. My sister was my next of kin and yet he would not even tell her as little as 'she is unchanged' or 'improving'. I'm sorry but I disgree that he had the right to not communicate at all with my next of kin. That is unethical. They were not asking for intimate details or interferring. I did not ask him to do that and he never told me that he had done it. I thought my family was simply disinterested and had given up on me because I never heard from them.