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September 22, 2005, 9:40 am PDT
Gee Wiz - Sorry!
Quote From: momakababeWhy are you addressing this to me? where did I say it isn't "common manners & common sense"? I'm going to repeat what you had already quoted me saying
"You son has told you as you say "very clearly" that he always wants you to call before a visit. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks is an "acceptable basis" because he finds it acceptable for you to ALWAYS CALL. I don't think that's too big of a thing for you to do & if he's made this clear why would you continue to question it? This is where in-laws create a rift & then can't understand why their in-laws don't want to visit at all. Your son has set a boundry & you shouldn't question any boundries at all & you should just respect it period. "
I KNOW that it's common manners & common sense to call before coming over & yes OF COURSE I KNOW that when you call you're actually asking permission or it's posed as a question!!!!!!! This however doesn't mean a flying thing because it was beside the point that her SON SET A BOUNDRY & WAS STILL ARGUING IT & CHECKING WITH OTHERS LOOKING FOR THEM TO SIDE WITH HER SO SHE HAS MORE OF AN ARGUMENT TO FACE HIM WITH. I don't care what rule it is or how it does or doesn't fit in with societies deffinition of manners etc. The point was the woman was told point blank what he & his wife wanted & what was expected & STILL she wouldn't just respect them as a grown up couple & the rules of THIER HOME. Dr. Phil has said this umpteen times & still people do not get this. I meant to address this to the original question. However, this was the first time I have posted on this board and I did not have it figured out at the time. My comments were meant to supplement and support yours. I can't believe how you chose to interpert them! The reason I mentioned the "ask permission" is because my in-laws haven't figured that out yet. They live in my neighborhood ( so it's not much of a warning) and have called to inform me that they are comming over. I wanted to help out this orignal questioners kids by letting her know that this is unacceptable just in case she is like my in-laws.
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