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Replies to '04/04 Did He or Didn't He?'
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April 2, 2007, 3:26 pm PDT
 Quote From: thompsbj I'm a woman, and I'm married to a divored man. His ex-wife never went this far in an accusation, but she used other tools to confuse the courts and the children.
IF THIS IS TRUE - I offer no defense to the guilty party. I have to say this out right.
My skeptisism comes in the manner that I see this used so often, especially in bad marriages as a set up for the women (mainly) to gain full custody of the children. It is a hard crime to prove after the fact, and I strongly believe young children can be manipulated to believe and retell a story that never ocurred.
Unfortunately the news reports these matters in a way that convicts the person immediately. If they are found innocent, the truth is never publicisized as much as the accusation.
My fathter, just turned 73, is undergoing child pornograpy charges. Unfortunately he is in the realm of senior citizens signing onto the web and not understanding security, viruses, and spam mail that targets you.
I don't condemn my father's interest in adult pornography, but it is this door that opened him to unwanted child pornograpy that has since brought him to computer-related charges. There is no child personally involved - or I would also be ready to condemn him even as his daughter.
My point to this issue, is that the topic, as real as it is, has become the new "Drunken Driving" topic. That is, it is the hot topic of the day that the media and political groups have found an audience to become the biggest sin ever. People have always driven drunk (I'm not condoning this) and it only recently become a huge political issue. It was the largest shame you could do. Regular people were branded the most horrible of people every time a DUI was posted.
Now, we have our new topic of child molestation. It is as serious, but is not a new crime. It is the hot topic today to move towards action that helps protect the children. However, it is such a hot topic that it is like a witch hunt. No one wants to hear the defense. Everyone is ready to accuse first because it is such a horrid thing.
This is what opens up this to be misused. If you look at the website that publicizes these offenders, you will see even 13 year olds involved with 11 year olds. And the date it occurred was over 10 years ago. I feel empathy for the individuals you now spend the rest of their life with a stigma of molester that was most likely two curious kids doing what most of us did at that age (I'm 42).
I hope the truth can be determined in this case and I hope the laws and minds of the American People can continue to question first, and convict later. We should all take the time to make up our own mind first, and not judge based on someone else's opinion.
I wish society could create such a fervor over the damage done to children when parents use them as pawns. I know first hand that in Delaware, the court has simply take the women's word first, even when evidence shows (including therapist testemony) that the woman has manipulated a situation to her favor.
So I don't support or comdemn this case before true evidence has been given.
Brenda Stepmother/mother to 5 children.
Hi I'm sorry for your father &/or you. I have to say however that our first priority has to be to our children. You're right in that this is not a new crime much the same as drunken driving but I think there are some major differences. I'm a forthy something too & back in the day we all thought we could "have a couple & I'm still straight to drive" & then learned later that wasn't really the case. What 1 glass of wine is to my husband is like 3 glasses of wine for me. 1 glass & my driving is impaired. Again back in the day we didn't know this & I think it took years to realize the difference between a DUI & DWI & to realize that if we're going to have a drink we want a designated driver period & he/she can't drink at all or stop hours prior to getting behind the wheel.
Child molesters have *always known what they are doing* & they've used shame and intimadation to silence their victims. Just like a child can be manipulated to believe something happened when it didn't they can be scared into not ever uttering a word of it. And you're right it is HORRID. This is the reason for this crime to have taken place for so long & for the adult world to not have realized it. What normal adult would have ever considered adults hurting children in such a manner? Unlike drinking however there was no innocense on the part of the preditors. The idea that for so many years the parent who knew of this & did nothing because they didn't want the shame on the family, them or to have to divorce etc. allowed these abusers to go on & outraged many. Again it was "horrid".
The idea that now if &/or when a parent finds out that there is abuse that they are likely to act accordingly to me is a good thing. The idea of a woman finding out that a child is being hurt at the hands of a father or in-law or someone else & is unable to stop unsupervised visits in the name of the child being "used as a pawn" sets us back as a society. The well being of that child has to be taken into account first. So made up story or not the visits have to be supervised untilit's certain this child is safe. I know that a child being used as a pawn is painful & detromental to the other parent & even to the child but I think that to erre on the side of caution until a child is to be proved to be in a *save* place when alone with this person must come first. There is also a web site that is for survivors of child abuse (sexual & other) & I think that before taking a stand for those fausly accused one needs to hear those stories & see the destruction done by these preditors. There are SO MANY that were left to the hands of their tormentors & mother was unable to do anything to protect them when she had the guts to leave the father. And I'm sorry but I believe that every spousal abuser out there is capable of hurting a child as a means of hurting the parent that left them. If a mother suspects an abusive husband is hurting a child or vise versa then I think the well being of the child trumps the rights of the abusive spouse. They should have unsperviced visitation canceld until it's certain that this child is really ok. You seem to feel that we should question the childrens word &/or the word of their parent prior to the word of an accused preditor & I just disagree. I think a person is innocent until proven guilty but even in the light of that I think a child's safety comes first & that thee should be *no chance* of an accused preditor having access to a child alone. If that's too harsh I'm sorry but the people I have empathy for are the people who had to live with *years* of abuse sexual & otherwise with no one believing them & with custody in some cases being *given to the abuser*. To me that is unacceptable & until a court is certain a child is safe they must be protected.
And also I'm not sure who is on this list but I don't believe that unless a child is convicted as an adult that their record is made public. I only thought that a child is convicted as an adult if the charge is extremely serious like having murdered someone.
You want people to "question first, and convict later". I say remove the child from the preditor, protect the children & make him/her safe first & then we can worry about the rights of the adults. |
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April 4, 2007, 6:49 am PDT
Quote From: thompsbj I'm a woman, and I'm married to a divored man. His ex-wife never went this far in an accusation, but she used other tools to confuse the courts and the children.
IF THIS IS TRUE - I offer no defense to the guilty party. I have to say this out right.
My skeptisism comes in the manner that I see this used so often, especially in bad marriages as a set up for the women (mainly) to gain full custody of the children. It is a hard crime to prove after the fact, and I strongly believe young children can be manipulated to believe and retell a story that never ocurred.
Unfortunately the news reports these matters in a way that convicts the person immediately. If they are found innocent, the truth is never publicisized as much as the accusation.
My fathter, just turned 73, is undergoing child pornograpy charges. Unfortunately he is in the realm of senior citizens signing onto the web and not understanding security, viruses, and spam mail that targets you.
I don't condemn my father's interest in adult pornography, but it is this door that opened him to unwanted child pornograpy that has since brought him to computer-related charges. There is no child personally involved - or I would also be ready to condemn him even as his daughter.
My point to this issue, is that the topic, as real as it is, has become the new "Drunken Driving" topic. That is, it is the hot topic of the day that the media and political groups have found an audience to become the biggest sin ever. People have always driven drunk (I'm not condoning this) and it only recently become a huge political issue. It was the largest shame you could do. Regular people were branded the most horrible of people every time a DUI was posted.
Now, we have our new topic of child molestation. It is as serious, but is not a new crime. It is the hot topic today to move towards action that helps protect the children. However, it is such a hot topic that it is like a witch hunt. No one wants to hear the defense. Everyone is ready to accuse first because it is such a horrid thing.
This is what opens up this to be misused. If you look at the website that publicizes these offenders, you will see even 13 year olds involved with 11 year olds. And the date it occurred was over 10 years ago. I feel empathy for the individuals you now spend the rest of their life with a stigma of molester that was most likely two curious kids doing what most of us did at that age (I'm 42).
I hope the truth can be determined in this case and I hope the laws and minds of the American People can continue to question first, and convict later. We should all take the time to make up our own mind first, and not judge based on someone else's opinion.
I wish society could create such a fervor over the damage done to children when parents use them as pawns. I know first hand that in Delaware, the court has simply take the women's word first, even when evidence shows (including therapist testemony) that the woman has manipulated a situation to her favor.
So I don't support or comdemn this case before true evidence has been given.
Brenda Stepmother/mother to 5 children.
gets actors to play sex offenders. So, their work is bogus.
Oh paleeze. Imagine a 6 foot adult, someone a child trusts, starts touching their personal areas. Cut me a break, I haven't seen this episode yet, but these people are sick. They violated a child; maybe others besides the child that told on the perp. Now the kid is going through years of therapy with "why did uncle/aunt so-and-so do this to me...".
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April 4, 2007, 11:08 pm PDT
Quote From: thompsbj I'm a woman, and I'm married to a divored man. His ex-wife never went this far in an accusation, but she used other tools to confuse the courts and the children.
IF THIS IS TRUE - I offer no defense to the guilty party. I have to say this out right.
My skeptisism comes in the manner that I see this used so often, especially in bad marriages as a set up for the women (mainly) to gain full custody of the children. It is a hard crime to prove after the fact, and I strongly believe young children can be manipulated to believe and retell a story that never ocurred.
Unfortunately the news reports these matters in a way that convicts the person immediately. If they are found innocent, the truth is never publicisized as much as the accusation.
My fathter, just turned 73, is undergoing child pornograpy charges. Unfortunately he is in the realm of senior citizens signing onto the web and not understanding security, viruses, and spam mail that targets you.
I don't condemn my father's interest in adult pornography, but it is this door that opened him to unwanted child pornograpy that has since brought him to computer-related charges. There is no child personally involved - or I would also be ready to condemn him even as his daughter.
My point to this issue, is that the topic, as real as it is, has become the new "Drunken Driving" topic. That is, it is the hot topic of the day that the media and political groups have found an audience to become the biggest sin ever. People have always driven drunk (I'm not condoning this) and it only recently become a huge political issue. It was the largest shame you could do. Regular people were branded the most horrible of people every time a DUI was posted.
Now, we have our new topic of child molestation. It is as serious, but is not a new crime. It is the hot topic today to move towards action that helps protect the children. However, it is such a hot topic that it is like a witch hunt. No one wants to hear the defense. Everyone is ready to accuse first because it is such a horrid thing.
This is what opens up this to be misused. If you look at the website that publicizes these offenders, you will see even 13 year olds involved with 11 year olds. And the date it occurred was over 10 years ago. I feel empathy for the individuals you now spend the rest of their life with a stigma of molester that was most likely two curious kids doing what most of us did at that age (I'm 42).
I hope the truth can be determined in this case and I hope the laws and minds of the American People can continue to question first, and convict later. We should all take the time to make up our own mind first, and not judge based on someone else's opinion.
I wish society could create such a fervor over the damage done to children when parents use them as pawns. I know first hand that in Delaware, the court has simply take the women's word first, even when evidence shows (including therapist testemony) that the woman has manipulated a situation to her favor.
So I don't support or comdemn this case before true evidence has been given.
Brenda Stepmother/mother to 5 children.
I completely agree with you! Question first, convict later. You're right, no one cares about the defense of an accused. Children are manipulated all the time between two divorced parents and I believe this is probably where more accusations come from than anywhere. The other would probably be tv and peer influences. Thank you for your comments and concerns for the wrongly accused and their family and friends. |
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