Replies to 'Childhood Sexual Abuse Support'

Sounds like you may need to be treated for Post Traumatic Stress disorder, flashbacks are frightening, no doubt about it and we all struggle to belive or disbelive them, we have to learn to trust ourselves.

Your fiance has issues ( if he's willing to drive across the State for revenge ) men seem to have a really hard time with this type of thing, they tend to knee jerk.

Find someone you are comfortable with, memories can and often are repressed for good reason, it keeps us sane, or at least relativly so, but we do have to learn to deal with it, everytime you smoke a joint or curl up in a fetal position, you are giving away your control and power to those who victimized you, tell your fiance revenge and going to jail himself are the same thing, he has given his control and power to those people (for men sometimes that helps, they hate giving up their control and power to anyone, except maybe their wives hehe ).

Sounds too like depression has you in its grips, your Doctor can help you.  I don't want to be mean, I KNOW you are hurting and the pain seems unbearable right now, but if not for yourself, you NEED help for your CHILDREN, depending on their ages they may or may not have the words or understanding needed to express to you how they feel, but they feel it, its amazing how perceptive they are, one or two visists to the counsellor isn't going to cut it, you have to find someone you are comfortable with, and KEEP GOING as the Doc would say UNTIL..... whenever.

I know my kids had suffered some from their Mom not being emotionally there for them, it took a LOT of work and effort to put things right again, but then nothing worthwhile ever comes easily otherwise we wouldn't appreciate it would we ?  Its easy to get caught in the rut, and we do get comfortable there, but only we can make the decision to get out of it and say " Its up to me ".

If you toke in front of your kids, STOP NOW, don't give them the idea that that is the way to deal with things, be strong, reaching out is never easy, hell I could've spared myself years of pain and misery if I could've done it sooner, and yes it does come back to haunt me, everytime my daughter (17) goes out the door to walk to the library or the store, or my son (15) forgets to call home when he goes somewhere (the panic is UNREAL ) but I had to learn ways to cope or they would be living home until they were forty or I was dead whichever came first.

Yes it makes us more sensitive to any signals our children give us, but it can make us hypersensitive as well, to the point that we will have a knee jerk reaction that could get us into trouble, you have to unlearn everything your family taught you about abuse, and relearn that there are people who do love and need you (your children being the main ones ), you have to find you, and maybe even reinvent you to be a strong confident wife and mother, and not the terrified cringing child, she needs peace.

cuddlecat6@hotmail.com if you need it, I'm more than happy to be here, sometimes its easier to talk to a stranger you don't have to look at in the eye, and hey, if the laundry doesn't get done today at this minute, we all know its not going anywhere (Damn)

For the marijuana I only know a drug rehab as a help for that....

Your fiance's reaction was well intended but a little extreme...and I don't blame you for being scared to say anything else...at least he is a good guy! maybe before you share the rest you can share with him how his reaction was scarey and not helpful...?

I pray you will continue to find more lifelines!