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Replies to '04/12 Twin Tug of War'
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April 12, 2007, 10:01 am PDT
 Quote From: angel1127 Florida does not have a waiting/cooling off period. If Ms. Quets doesn't like the laws in Florida, then maybe she should do something to change it.
Get real. That is your solution????
I donot believe that would change the situation. I agree that her family should have been there to support her and everything else but there is in fact a reason that most states have adoption laws where the birth mother has some time to let the decision sink in. Becuase they do not want the birth mother to make a PERMANENT DECISION based on TEMPORARY Circumstances. I know many adoptive parents and I know that they love their children and have in fact been able to bond with their children. This particular birth mother was making a decision when she was not in fact in her "right" mind.
I can appreciate that as an adoptive parent you would not want the birth mother to come back. I can appreciate that you adopted internationally and were able to help a child in need. I would like to believe that you adopted internationally more to make sure that you gave a child a better life -- many little girls in China are abandoned and therefore you are probably not going to have the issue with the birth mother. The issues that these children have is more because they were abandoned.
This is a completely different situation and the "adoptive" parents should be ashamed of themselves for continuing on with this when it was obviously known that she was coerced into this decision. The attorney's were completely unethical. The papers may have been signed but the second she changed her mind in the office they should have been shredded. You may think I am harsh for or unfair to the adoptive parents but they KNEW there was an issue and yet they did nothing about it. You feel that they were gracious????NO they were being selfish. They knew she did not want to give up her children and yet the decided to go on a technicality of a law....they did not look at the best interests of the children. Those children are going to grow up and they will learn all about this and you know I have a strong feeling that they will end up resenting the adoptive parents. I hope and pray that the "law" see's the irrrationality of the decision's that are being made and reverse them before they are too late!
And finally.... your statement
Contact any adoption agency, especially those specializing in waiting children, older children, special needs children or international adoption. BEtter yet, talk to a social worker. It does happen. Look up reactive attachment disorder. You stand corrected
As I said before the special needs of internationl adoptions has more to do with the circumstance that the child came from (abandonment....severe poverty...lack of resources to care for the children like they wish they could in the orphanages....) then they do with anything else. The same with older chilren....abandonment from their parents. This is a case more like being STOLEN from the parent. The birth parent never gave up her rights...She never ABDANDONED her child. Please do not compare apples to oranges! |
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April 12, 2007, 4:49 pm PDT
Quote From: angel1127 Florida does not have a waiting/cooling off period. If Ms. Quets doesn't like the laws in Florida, then maybe she should do something to change it.
Get real. That is your solution????
I donot believe that would change the situation. I agree that her family should have been there to support her and everything else but there is in fact a reason that most states have adoption laws where the birth mother has some time to let the decision sink in. Becuase they do not want the birth mother to make a PERMANENT DECISION based on TEMPORARY Circumstances. I know many adoptive parents and I know that they love their children and have in fact been able to bond with their children. This particular birth mother was making a decision when she was not in fact in her "right" mind.
I can appreciate that as an adoptive parent you would not want the birth mother to come back. I can appreciate that you adopted internationally and were able to help a child in need. I would like to believe that you adopted internationally more to make sure that you gave a child a better life -- many little girls in China are abandoned and therefore you are probably not going to have the issue with the birth mother. The issues that these children have is more because they were abandoned.
This is a completely different situation and the "adoptive" parents should be ashamed of themselves for continuing on with this when it was obviously known that she was coerced into this decision. The attorney's were completely unethical. The papers may have been signed but the second she changed her mind in the office they should have been shredded. You may think I am harsh for or unfair to the adoptive parents but they KNEW there was an issue and yet they did nothing about it. You feel that they were gracious????NO they were being selfish. They knew she did not want to give up her children and yet the decided to go on a technicality of a law....they did not look at the best interests of the children. Those children are going to grow up and they will learn all about this and you know I have a strong feeling that they will end up resenting the adoptive parents. I hope and pray that the "law" see's the irrrationality of the decision's that are being made and reverse them before they are too late!
And finally.... your statement
Contact any adoption agency, especially those specializing in waiting children, older children, special needs children or international adoption. BEtter yet, talk to a social worker. It does happen. Look up reactive attachment disorder. You stand corrected
As I said before the special needs of internationl adoptions has more to do with the circumstance that the child came from (abandonment....severe poverty...lack of resources to care for the children like they wish they could in the orphanages....) then they do with anything else. The same with older chilren....abandonment from their parents. This is a case more like being STOLEN from the parent. The birth parent never gave up her rights...She never ABDANDONED her child. Please do not compare apples to oranges! Since obviously, you didn't grasp the tone and intent of my original message.
1. The laws in Florida may be archaic, but they are the laws. How many times would you suggest she sign over the children before it's considered a legal and binding adoption?
2. My husband and I after FOUR failed domestic adoption attempts CHOSE to invest our hearts and souls where we would come home with a China. God led us to China. We chose international adoption after the failed domestic adoptions. We will never have birth mother issues, my daughter was abandoned on the steps of a kindergarten. Thankfully, her birth family chose 1. not to abort and 2. not to kill her. Infanticide is still a common practice in rural China.
3. Why should the adoptive parents lose the children they have loved since the day they were placed in their arms. I don't know about you, but I bonded with my daughter the moment she was placed in my arms that hot afternoon in China. Actually, I loved her from the first picture, but it took me two months to get her in my arms.
4. The adoptive family, despite having an open adoption, can sever communication at will at any time. They chose to let Alison remain in contact. How do you know they didn't look at the best interest of the children. The woman is still not all there. Remember, one court already held up the adoption.
5. Reactive attachment disorder does not have to do with the circumstance that the child came from. It comes from removing a child from the only environment they have ever known. The children have bonded with their caregivers in the orphanage regardless of the lack of resources. They still have a BOND with the caregivers. Infants and children adopt with those that supply their vital needs, food, safety, warmth and comfort.
I pray that the courts sever any and all parental rights for Alison Quets, I hope she serves consecutive sentences for parental kidnapping. She obtained passports for those children despite not being their legal guardian. Considering the time to obtain passports, two to six weeks, there was forethought in what she did. Additionally, she forged a federal document. She signed as the children's legal guardian, which by Florida law and decree, she is not.
The children were not stolen from the parent, she gave up her rights TWICE. The first time when she signed the paperwork and then called 911, and then again 3 days later. I give the adoptive family credit for refusing to try this whole thing in the media and on the Dr. Phil show. |
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