Replies to '04/12 Twin Tug of War'

I want to first thank the Dr Phil show for getting the word out about HG. I have had 3 pregnancy with it and I have 1 living child to show for it. I am going to tell a little of my story - I know there is a lot of stories on here - but feel very strong about this and getting the word out. It also is great to tell and talk about my story its healing for me. I will always have the pain and sadness of all of this- but it does help to tell of it. I was 25 years old when I became pregnant and thrilled as more. Then 2 - 3 weeks later I started with the non stop vomiting. My doctor and nurse told me to try this and that diet - and do this and not that. I started out going for IVs 2 - 3 times a week - either a 3 - 4 hour visit or a over night stay. My veins are hard to find - so I was sent home with hep-locs so I could keep the IVs in and not get poked more than need be.. From there I had 2 different pic-lines in my arms - and after awhile I had a central line put into my chest. I was put on every kind of medicine they could think of - but nothing worked. I had to switch to a specialty doctor and hospital that was over 40 minutes from my home, family and friends. To add to the depression of having HG - it was also the holiday season - winter - snow - distance - my dad turned 60 years old - loneness and thinking that everyone else thought you had lost your mind. I did lots of crying those months. I had dangerous low potassium and was hospitalize for that. I was put on TPN - Total Prenatal Nutr. - through the central line and had to check my blood sugar at 4 times a day. I was on that 12 hours a day at home. I lost a total of over 30 pounds. In April I got air into my central line - thank god - my husband was home and has asthma - so he was trying to help me on the way to the ER -- where I was rush by Ambulance with a doctor and nurse to the specialty hospital. Where I had 5 different doctors there for me and my baby - I was put through test after test and on full oxygen and in the ICU for a night. I gave birth to a healthy baby girl in July. The other 2 pregnancy -1999 and 2000, I was just as sick - and talked to the doctors before we even tried to get pregnant and they couldnt say one way or another if it would happen again or not. We so badly wanted a bigger family we had to try more-- which a lot of our family and friends didnt agree and didnt come around much. I was over 10 weeks with both of the pregnancy and they were once again all over the holiday months - and during winter, plus now we had a child to worry about. The 1st one - I could not handle being away from my daughter - I got to see her 2 times a week - if I was lucky and my husband couldnt come by as much with a daughter a home. I was very depress and felt very alone, I couldnt handle it, they had me talk with someone to be sure I knew what I was talking about - wanting to end the pregnancy - I knew what they wanted to hear so they ever gave me any problems. I was on TPN again with that. The next pregnancy the doctors told me in plain English that it could be deadly for me and / or the baby - or I could come out of it not healthy - so that pregnancy was ended per the doctor. I was one TPN with that one also.. Only after they tried other things - because they had found out that TPN was not healthy. I was on a nose feeding tube at home 24 hours a day - I was on steroids - but the only amount that helped me was not a healthy amount. It was like everything we tried that worked was going to harm me and my baby.. One ate away at my bones and one ate away at my muscle.. There was no choice - as my husband reminds me to this day. But to this day - I am thankful for my daughter -- but it hurts to know she is alone. We have looked into adoption - and working on it -- but it is a lot harder then people let on -- I know why people dont do it and why there are so many kids in foster care -- it is very sad to think of that. But that is a whole other story. I do have my daughter -- but I do feel so robbed of my pregnancy - the morning sickness - and pregnant belly - I never even really felt her move or kick. I since have remorse - I see pregnant women and family with lots of kids and I get so mad - life is so unfair.. I know there are still people out there that think it was in my head and I could have done something. HG is not heard of much - and you really do feel so alone going through it -- it needs more attention and needs to be talked about so those of us who dealt with it can get help and heal more I will never be completely heal - but it does help.. Thanks again for talking of it.. Anyone going through it needs to know they are not alone and there are others. Its not in their minds - it is real.. I only wish I could have seen this show and heard about all this ahead of time and had support for myself and for my husband - more information need to be out there Support is something we all need - what I wouldnt have done for someone to come and visit me in the hospital all those times just to sit in the room with me..   As for the mom in this show -- I am torn on what should happen -- with her and kids --  I see it from someone who had HG and I see it from someone who wants to adopt and know people who have..  But HG does change a person's life forever...