Replies to '04/12 Twin Tug of War'

  I find it hard to accept her being prosecuted for endangerment - no where in the media has anything said that the kids were not being cared for. When she was picked up in Canada, the paper reported the kids were safe and very well-cared for. The kids knew her - she had monthly visitation. In the videos - the kids are smiling, playing and happy. She looks tired, but sane. I don't see a danger to them. We know nothing about their life with the other family. Nothing! I wish they would speak out. It's interesting they already have a kid, too.

Keep in mind too, that just because you adopt a child, doesn't mean you are a good and loving parent. You can't assume that any more than you can say that being a biological mom is always a good and safe person. We would hope so, but there are many motives for adopting. Somehow, we see moms who allow adoption to be crazy, poor, uneducated, etc., and the adoptive parents as hero's. This mom sure wasn't. I don't think people who assume that have read the news very closely. That is very naive thinking.

If you love the kids, you would want the best for them and taking them from a mother who loves and wants them, does not seem like the best thing. Even if she was ill at the time, it was temporary and treatable. It just seems unfair now matter how you slice it. I would like to see the people who have the kids prove they are sane and safe.

Ethically, though, it still goes back to the issue that you just don't take away a mother's right to her kids when she is sick. That is wrong. IF it was ok to take kids from a mom who was depressed and ill, many kids would be taken from their moms. How unfair would you feel if that were you and you just needed a few months?

I know many mom's who are single and the pressure they feel is enormous - compared to us with a partner/spouse. They are more vulnerable - like this mom who gave up at 5 weeks - and also are targets for those wanting to adopt. I'm sure when you are ill, scared and single, having twins would seem impossible - at least for a short time... She didn't have time to adjust. You can't assume she is nutty because she didn't make the same decision as you did. Many women with HG have severe cases or don't get good care and miscarry or resort to abortion. It's very sad, but as that doctor said, the health professionals still think it's a woman's fault. Faced with that, you might have had a different outcome to your pregnancy. She looked horrible in those pictures. She probably should have been watched more after she gave birth - she was one that would likely experience depression after such a horrible pregnancy and then the demands of twins and being single.

Everyone has different circumstances and hopefully we will understand this more at some point. I would not judge someone if I had not taken a few steps in their shoes!!!!

Did you come home with twins? How much help and support did you have? I was very lucky. I had great support, made all the difference in the world. If the adoptive parents and their shyster lawyer had made an effort to be certain she was ready to give her children up for adoption, we would not even be having this conversation. From what I am reading, some of you would probably have more sympathy with someone who had given up a dog or cat and a week or so later realized they had made a mistake and asked for it back. YOU WOULD PROBABLY GIVE THE DOG OR CAT BACK. CRAZY HUH!