The first thing you must do is Remember this is not your fault..
She is seeking out a relationship with someone else because SHE CAN...
I have been married to a man for 25 years he travels to asia all the time..
12 years ago he took this wonderful job ...HA I thought it was at the time...I gave him 110% support to go and do this job overseas while I stayed home and cared for our 3 children..
His 3 week job turned into a 2 year job.. I would travel to see him about every 9 weeks for a 10-12 day period...Again leaving my children ...
He was always to busy to come home ...
Being young and REALLY DUMB...
1 year into his contract... I got HPV...Herpies Palanoma virious... which turned into Cancer..
He said it was not him I must have cheated on him he was sure.. he told me all these different reasons how I got it.. Toilet seat, bar stool. bed sheet ocean water...
Dah... I became very smart... AND VERY VERY WISE..
I did a surprise visit to Asia...Our Anniversary ...
WOW ....Not only was he having cheating but he was hiring so many prostitutes to fill his really hard exausting days of work ....
that he had no idea he had hired me.....
I had gotten so good at speaking the language, acting and dressing like them that he had no idea who I was...
Yep..................................".I " White girl became Philippina...
I found out so much about myself and my life that I had no idea was happening....
I remember being in the hall of his hotel room and calling him after he paid me ..I asked him what he was doing and what he did last night ...
He said he just woke up...WRONG...He ment to say I just got laid, I asked him what he did last night he said went to dinner..to bed really early... He ment to say went out to my favorite bar got drunk and picked up this girl and I just got done having sex with her...
I undressed in the hallway took off my wig put my hair in a ponytail and knocked on his door all the while knowing he had no idea I was even in ASIA....
He thought he was talking to me from home.. taking care of his lost life he had forgotten how to do anymore.
When he opened the door he looked JUST like he did when I left...
BUt now very very surprised...And very very angry that I was there..
You tricked me is all he could say.. looking up and down the hall...
He turned the table on me and said I lied...Not even a word about Happy anniversery or I am so glad to see you...I love you...I've missed you, I'm so glad your here.
He said he just woke up and needed a shower..
I left him alone and got into my little get up...again .... Knocked on the bathroom door told him someone was there to see him.. SILENCE.and a lot of it......................................
said he would be right out I answerd in tagolig...I miss you..
I forgot my bag...who is this lady in your room...
He said back... Not to worry he was going to get rid of his Wife as soon as possible and then he would make it up to ME...The other women...
But when he finally came out of the bathroom there I was in bed dressed as his hired girl naked and all he could say was get out...
I told him in english... NOT ON YOUR LIFE I WAS NOW IN CHARGE..
I was there for a reason..
He of cource he called security on me and well, that is when he realized who I or she really was...
ME...
A very strong person who Had finally grown up and became a women not affraid
I am much wiser and trust me It took me a really long time to begin again..
I got my things togather and fley home 2 days later...
My 3 beautiful children there waiting for there MOM...
He had done lots of damage in the 21 hours of plane rides..
The children are the ones who suffer the most.. If we are sad they can feel it..
kids just know. We think they might not be listening BUT they are... no matter how hard we try and hide it from them they too are suffering...
IT's A no win situation...
.. We think just because they can go out and do this to us..
WE have to make it UP to them.. We have to find a way to prove to.... THEM..... how much WE love them.. Show them the world ..
All the time We forget about what really happened...
We forget about US ... ... How it felt the first time we found out about them..
That is what you have to remember...
They did this on there own for what ever reasons... Trust me they have so many...reasons..
But the real reason is They cheated on us.... Can you ever trust again... within time the pain goes away... the trust slowly comes back...
YOU CAN ALWAYS FORGIVE BUT YOU CAN NEVER FORGET...I WISH WE COULD...
Just remember you get 1 life... is it worth loosing who we are.. You have to go back to why we love and want to be loved... You have to wake up in the morning and put your feet on the floor and say... THIS IS A BRAND NEW DAY... What should I do today FOR ME....FOR MY CHILDREN...
This is a great day to begin LIFE...Do you want your children to grow up never being able to trust anyone... Remembering how awful his child hood was.. How sad his parents were how they fought or why they were never there for them.......NO WAY...
Children are like sponges they absorbe everything...It is our job to show them LOVE, teach them right from wrong... They will be OKAY... It will take lots of time and LOTS of Patients...They are gona be angry for a while.
But a HUG AND A SIMPLE I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING and this is not your fault....WELL, That works wonders...
An occasional fishing trip won't hurt either..
IF life gives you lemons "YOU MAKE A REALLY NICE GLASS OF LEMONADE".. Sit back and think about how many LEMONS you had to GET RID of to make that delicious wonderful glass you are now ENJOYING........
Good luck
