Quote From: qqqhhhSo, from the sound of it, you've made some mistakes. It also sounds as though your wife may have not been completely honest with you about how she was feeling regarding your selfishness -- that is an assumption and if correct, that is her mistake. As marital partners we are accountable to our spouses for how we behave.
So you've acknowledged that there is a lot of room for improvement and you've even been very willing to put your money where your mouth is -- you moved out peacefully and you were willing to get counseling. BRAVO!
The only thing left to do are these things: #1 follow through on counseling, #2 ask for forgiveness from your wife and be willing to forgive your self, and #3 leave the door open.
Not only will counseling give your wife the sign that you really meant what you said, but it will ALSO help you with your grief and healing.
Because you have been so willing to acknowledge your wrongs, I suggest that you give that full accounting to your wife. True forgiveness is not an easy thing, but you are already well on your way and I think that gesture is the right thing.
Once you've asked, the only other thing to do is leave the door open and wait to see if she'll have a change of heart. That part is up to her.
Be gentle while you grieve, Q
Hi Andrew,
Divorce has never been a good option. Normally, people wouldn't thought of it when they got married. But when it can't be prevented, then learn not to lean on the problem is the next good option. Love cannot be forced. So, encourage yourself to move on. Instead of focusing on the bad things happen in your life, it would be a good changing to do things that you've been longing to do. Anything that would make you feel good about yourself. This would be such a great exercise to prepare yourself to face the future, when things between you and the wife are not going to get better, or if it'll be as you expected, it would leave you a different past. I wish you goodluck...
