Replies to '04/12 Twin Tug of War'

 I don't think we can decide why Allison made the choices she did and I certainly don't think most of us have walked a mile in her shoes. HG and the meds you take for it can make you depressed and anxious. Going to fertility treatments - with all the hormones - often makes women depressed. Not having a committed partner when you are going through HG certainly makes a HUGE difference. Those of us going through HG often give up or suffer more if we don't have someone there daily to help us remember why we are sick - to remind us we are pregnant. Let's look at this again - HG did not make her go to Canada - you are right. However, HG did put her in a very weak state and I bet she didn't get much sleep. Any mom's out there up with twins all night? My kids were very poor sleepers and I had a really hard time thinking for months. Couldn't make decisions, etc. So Allison is sleep deprived for months, is being pressured by at least her boyfriend and the attorneys (and most likely the Needhams), can't think clearly and feels she is going to die. I doubt the adoption attorneys came in and suggested she get help and not do the adoption. That would mean no money for them. I'm sure the Needhams didn't tell her to do that and it sure doesn't sound like they came by to help her at all so she could get back on her feet and make a sound decision.

Your assumption she did not hire an atty that specializes in adoption law could be unfounded. I don't think there are that many attorneys that want to take on the messy cases like this. She said she had a talented legal team and we know she paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for legal help...  Do you know who her attorneys were? I would like to know - I'm guessing they were pretty good at that rate. She was following the law and court process for over 18 months - it's not like she just sat around for a year thinking about, then grabbed them and ran. She was fighting for them for many months and nothing was happening - she wasn't getting to see her kids often - didn't she say every three weeks? That is sad.

I would say there is no doubt she had PPD and likely PTSS. She was only 5 weeks after delivery and those are not typically diagnosed until after that point. She probably had not even had her final checkup after delivery. If you listened to the Doctor on the show, he said how women are normal a few months after pregnancy although they are struggling while pregnant.  She didn't get the chance to recover before she was pushed to make a decision she didn't want to make. After that many months of sleep loss and illness, I would certainly doubt my ability to cope and survive. That is not irrational. I would actually more scared if she tried to tough it out and ended up with psychosis. She tried to protect the kids from harm - she said she didn't want to take them down with her. That sounds like a caring mom. She didn't know what to do about it and it seems she was really just offered adoption. I have not heard her say any other options were suggested. It doesn't sound like her friends were stepping in and really doing enough to help her get by. That probably made her feel she couldn't do it, too. We have to look at the whole picture. She certainly was ok before - she had the same job for 2 decades and is very educated. You don't have that type resume if you are a wacko.

Let's offer this mom support and a chance to parent her own kids. There are people that can evaluate her and make sure she is doing ok. That is better than just taking them away - that is cruel for both her and her kids.