Replies to 'My Friend/Relative Won't Discipline!'

Quote From: miekje

do they only act like this when they're with you, or all the time, so also when they're with their mom or at school. if there's a place where they di behave that means they know boundaries and accept them, you just have to make sure, that the boundaries at your house are clear, and that they have to be respected. so everytime they do something, they are being disciplined. like taking away the seven year old pencils, if he likes them, or putting them in a corner. if they behave like this everywhere, so also at school and at their moms, and with strangers, then i don't think there's much you can do, unless you agree too their mom that she will discipline too, or you'll have to agree with their father, that this behaviour won't be tolerated at your house, but you have to make sure, that he agrees one hundred procent to it, and that he follows the rules one hundred percent of the time. certainly in the beginning, there can't be any exceptions. but it will still be difficult, if they are only disciplined at your house, and i'm not sure whether it's possible to let them behave at your house when you're the only one disciplining them. i don't know how the 15 and 16 year old are behaving, but if they've never been disciplined, i don't think you can do anything about it. if you aren't sure whether to marry him or not, just postpone the wedding, until you are sure, and don't let anyone talk you into it, you should only marry him when you're certain that's the right thing to do. if there's no solution for those kids, and you really can't stand them, you might have to sit down with your boyfriend, and talk about them not coming over anymore, but him going to do something with his kids, like going swimming or something else on a regular basis. you should think seriously about this, because your 13 month old daughter is getting these examples, and how do you explain to her, that they're 'bad' but don't get disciplined, and she does?