Replies to '11/24 Meddling Future Mothers-in-law'

When I met my sweetie, we were kids in high school. I hadn't planned to marry at 20 but love is powerful and before I knew it, we were planning a wedding. I'm horrified now that we began that planning without my mom-in-law!! I didn't really even think about her, I just started planning the wedding with my mom. If she was hurt, she never showed it. Most of our friends knew about our engagement before she did. I'd be devastated if one of my boys showed the same lack of regard my sweetie and I showed her. 

I'm British by birth and attitude and my mom-in-law is from the Ukraine. She's a hugger and a screamer and when she paints a room she'll choose the brightest colour in the pallette. I choose ivory *lol*. There are times when I just don't get her and there are times when I know she just doesn't get me. It could have been a disaster from the start. 

I think I was so intimidated by her. My hubby's mom is a first rate artist, speaks 9 languages, knows more about history and politics than anyone I know and is a tiny, perfect woman who cooks so well she is often told to open a restaurant. She was taken from her home at 13 and placed in a German work camp for 3 years but instead of dimming her spirit, it only sparked it more.  I'm an awkward, freckled girl who speaks one language and couldn't paint by numbers. I've never learned to cook and I'm a haphazard housewife so when we were first married I couldn't see how she and I would ever have a relationship. I forgot the most important fact... I adore her son. 

She overlooks my many flaws and regales people with stories of how I had an article published or won a local election. She brags on my beautiful sons and tells everyone that I'm the best mother she knows. I'm not too sure how we managed this relationship but I'm almost positive it's her fault. I think she saw I was young and intimidated and she decided to be the adult in the relationship until I could catch up. She was kind and funny and even though she was incredulous that I couldn't manage to learn even one of her recipies, she loved it when I volunteered her son to learn them and we both found out he's an amazing cook just like his mom. They bonded more over that than anything. :)  

We've been married for 25 years now and my mom-in-law was my rock through the deaths of my parents. If anything were to happen to her, the loss would be as great as the loss of my mom. I pray that I can be the adult when my sons find women they love. I hope I can hold my tongue and open my heart the way she did. I know everybody wins that way.