Hello to everyone reading this. I am 34 and am divorced b/c I don't really trust anyone. I am still stuck in trying to please my abusive father. I am so lost and have taken a million steps backwards. Somedays I'm lucky to actually get out of bad b/c getting up is too hard. Breathing is all the activity that I can handle. I am in counseling but don't really discuss my real issues b/c I am terrified of saying what happens to me outload. I pretend like nothing happened and than I have major nightmares reliving the events that occurred. I hate myself and experiment w/cutting and taking a lot of pills just to see what happens. I want and need to feel anything different than how painful I feel now. Does anyone out there understand this? I watch Dr. Phil everyday and when he tells people this will be a changing day in your life- I wish it was me that he was helping.
