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Replies to '04/12 Twin Tug of War'
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April 19, 2007, 8:03 am PDT
 Quote From: betty389 When this woman decided at age 47 to become a mother, she did not consider the results. She had no husband, She was too old to be having her first child. She apparently did not think about what problems could occur She was artifically conceived, and when she got sick there was no husband to help her thru this. God created two parents for each child as a back up system. Now that the twins are almost two years old and the hardest part of raising them is over, She wants them back. Claiming she was sick. Well she had a good job and education. If she needed help with the twins when she gave birth she could have hired a nanny, or gotten her family to help out. Instead she realized how difficult becoming a mother could be and she signed them away. Claiming she was forced by some boyfriend who seems to have had nothing to do with the childrens birth. There is no way she should get them back or even have visitation rights. These children need two parents who will live long enough to raise them. If you think i am wrong, you need to know I have two adopted children and two natural children. My last child was born at age 40. However, i knew what i was getting in to, I had a husband and excellent family support. Not once in her interview from the prison did she say she cared what was best for the children. She was only saying i am the mother so i deserve them. Wrong. being a mother means doing what is best for the children. She puts her self first. It also seems she is not emotionally stable enough to raise the children. to take them from the family who adopted them, stayed up all night to care for them , paid all their bills, and loved them would be the biggest crime on the children now. In addition Dr. Phil i think you should stay out of this matter and leave it to the legal system. This mother would steal the children again if she was let out of prison for even one day. Hi Betty! Glad you joined the discussion as opposing view are important in any discussion of significance. I do think that you should review some of the earlier posts to see what has been said about HG, PPD, and the public information on the case.
That she had insufficient support is very sad, I agree. But I would guess that she would never have anticipated that to happen. I didn't expect that when I was sick with HG. I expected all the people who promised to help to flock to my family's side; those people didn't. |
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April 19, 2007, 9:57 am PDT
Quote From: betty389 When this woman decided at age 47 to become a mother, she did not consider the results. She had no husband, She was too old to be having her first child. She apparently did not think about what problems could occur She was artifically conceived, and when she got sick there was no husband to help her thru this. God created two parents for each child as a back up system. Now that the twins are almost two years old and the hardest part of raising them is over, She wants them back. Claiming she was sick. Well she had a good job and education. If she needed help with the twins when she gave birth she could have hired a nanny, or gotten her family to help out. Instead she realized how difficult becoming a mother could be and she signed them away. Claiming she was forced by some boyfriend who seems to have had nothing to do with the childrens birth. There is no way she should get them back or even have visitation rights. These children need two parents who will live long enough to raise them. If you think i am wrong, you need to know I have two adopted children and two natural children. My last child was born at age 40. However, i knew what i was getting in to, I had a husband and excellent family support. Not once in her interview from the prison did she say she cared what was best for the children. She was only saying i am the mother so i deserve them. Wrong. being a mother means doing what is best for the children. She puts her self first. It also seems she is not emotionally stable enough to raise the children. to take them from the family who adopted them, stayed up all night to care for them , paid all their bills, and loved them would be the biggest crime on the children now. In addition Dr. Phil i think you should stay out of this matter and leave it to the legal system. This mother would steal the children again if she was let out of prison for even one day. I can almost see your point- but one thing you have to realize is she wanted them back after signing the papers(from everything i have read) within that same day. She tried to revoke it within one week-(i beleive i am correct). It was not "2 years". Secondly, the support issue is correct - and it doesnt have to be the husband that "God created two parents for each child as a back up system". It can be her mother, friend sister ect.. And this mention of the children needs someone who will live long enough to raise them? Well if she is 46 when they were born --- that will make her 66. I beleive the life expectancy has raised so there is a good change she will be around in 20 years and if she is not i am sure she will have provisions - accidents happen anywhere. you are never safe. No - i dont agree with you at all. As for changing her mind - i believe there should be some time limit alotted to the mother if she realizes she "made a mistake". At the least 1 month - that is a very big decision - and especially after the first 6 weeks! If she choses to change her mind after that 1 to two months - well then that should be the point of no return
lastly reading through most of the posts it seems that alot of the adoptive parents are going against her. If she wins the case - it could change the adoption all around. Again, i dont think anyone is advocating that any time a mother changes her mind they should get her children back, i think instead they are making the following points
1) the mother shouldnt sign her children over in duress(and that should be defined) - if a mother is extremely sick obviously she cannot make decisions for herself in that time frame - 2) the time alloted for a mother to change her mind should be increased from 48 hours to at least 1 month - it is a huge decision - providing there isnt some sort of legal reason she should not get her children
what is wrong with that .... exactly?
yes i am a HG mother- no i have never adopted but i may adopt in the furture -- as i am afraid to have more children - and my view on the matter will not change even then. |
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April 23, 2007, 6:48 am PDT
Quote From: betty389 When this woman decided at age 47 to become a mother, she did not consider the results. She had no husband, She was too old to be having her first child. She apparently did not think about what problems could occur She was artifically conceived, and when she got sick there was no husband to help her thru this. God created two parents for each child as a back up system. Now that the twins are almost two years old and the hardest part of raising them is over, She wants them back. Claiming she was sick. Well she had a good job and education. If she needed help with the twins when she gave birth she could have hired a nanny, or gotten her family to help out. Instead she realized how difficult becoming a mother could be and she signed them away. Claiming she was forced by some boyfriend who seems to have had nothing to do with the childrens birth. There is no way she should get them back or even have visitation rights. These children need two parents who will live long enough to raise them. If you think i am wrong, you need to know I have two adopted children and two natural children. My last child was born at age 40. However, i knew what i was getting in to, I had a husband and excellent family support. Not once in her interview from the prison did she say she cared what was best for the children. She was only saying i am the mother so i deserve them. Wrong. being a mother means doing what is best for the children. She puts her self first. It also seems she is not emotionally stable enough to raise the children. to take them from the family who adopted them, stayed up all night to care for them , paid all their bills, and loved them would be the biggest crime on the children now. In addition Dr. Phil i think you should stay out of this matter and leave it to the legal system. This mother would steal the children again if she was let out of prison for even one day. I have a major problem with your "God created two parents for
each child as a back up system" theory. Maybe you can explain
God's plan in the following situation: I met a young lady when I was going to Parents Without Partners. She and her husband were married for 5 years. They purchased a house in a very nice neighborhood and decided to add a child to their lives. They found out that she was pregnant and was planning on celebrating that weekend. The weekend didn't turn into a celebration but a mourning. Her husband died two days after he found out she was pregnant. I am not questioning God on why He took him but your statement on the "two parents" back up system. Was she suppose to give up her child because there was no second parent? It sounds like you have had a wonderful life compared to alot of situation out there. You have 2 natural children and 2 adoptive children with no complications. Here are some questions that I would like you to answer: 1. If your husband would have died, got a divorce or became deathly ill during, or even after, your pregnantcy, would you give up your children to adoption? Per your statement, God created two parents but, now you are one parent. It would especially be true for your adopted children since obviously you adopted them to give them two parents. 2. Why did you want to become a mom? Was it for procreation or so you can have the feeling of being a mom. Allison wanted a child for probably the thousands of other women want child. If you are a parent, there is no greater feeling in the world than your children! 3. Have you ever had or known someone with a severe illness? I have and it effects your psychological reasoning. I was in major pain for months before the doctors discovered what was wrong. I was in bed and major pain pills for months. Even after they found out what it was and put me on the correct treatmen plan, it took me more than 3 months to even make a little dent in the psychological effect it had on me. Two years later, I am still affected by the effect of that desease. I don't know all of Allison's story but even if part of it is true, then she was wronged by the attorney, her friend, the adoptive parents and the court system. This whole thing wouldn't have happened if the adoptive parents would have done the right thing from the start and given the children back immediately upon her request. They didn't "bond" with the children within that short of time!! They are the one who thought of "self first" vice what was best for the children. If the children are given back to Allison (which I hope), I won't feel bad for the "adoptive parents" bacause they put themselves in this situation. |
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April 23, 2007, 9:56 am PDT
Quote From: betty389 When this woman decided at age 47 to become a mother, she did not consider the results. She had no husband, She was too old to be having her first child. She apparently did not think about what problems could occur She was artifically conceived, and when she got sick there was no husband to help her thru this. God created two parents for each child as a back up system. Now that the twins are almost two years old and the hardest part of raising them is over, She wants them back. Claiming she was sick. Well she had a good job and education. If she needed help with the twins when she gave birth she could have hired a nanny, or gotten her family to help out. Instead she realized how difficult becoming a mother could be and she signed them away. Claiming she was forced by some boyfriend who seems to have had nothing to do with the childrens birth. There is no way she should get them back or even have visitation rights. These children need two parents who will live long enough to raise them. If you think i am wrong, you need to know I have two adopted children and two natural children. My last child was born at age 40. However, i knew what i was getting in to, I had a husband and excellent family support. Not once in her interview from the prison did she say she cared what was best for the children. She was only saying i am the mother so i deserve them. Wrong. being a mother means doing what is best for the children. She puts her self first. It also seems she is not emotionally stable enough to raise the children. to take them from the family who adopted them, stayed up all night to care for them , paid all their bills, and loved them would be the biggest crime on the children now. In addition Dr. Phil i think you should stay out of this matter and leave it to the legal system. This mother would steal the children again if she was let out of prison for even one day. First, I agree wholeheartedly that this is a terribly sad, difficult situation. None of us in the public know all the facts or all the details. But I have to say that while maybe she should not get her kids back, maybe she should. The main thing I wanted to say here is that I find it ill logic and really, utterly preposterous to say that she merely did not think about what problems could occur. As someone who is suffering severely for the 3rd time with extreme hyperemesis, I find it laughably obvious that you have never suffered from this. You really think that ANYONE would be able to consider having this disease if they had not had it? It is so rare most people have never heard of it until they are diagnosed with it. Also, I have a huge family, many of who live within minutes, and not one person who helps me, so it is simply stupid to imply that she or any mother has some magical waiting list of available babysitters. My husband works most of the year out of the country, and we are happily married, but he is not here to help so even though we are married, how is that fact helping me any more than her, and yet you are so quick to stitch a scarlet letter onto her chest. You obviously did not pay attention to the FACTS of the story, either. If you had, you would realize that she was seriously screwed over by that man. NOW that the children are two, I am not cerain what is truly best for them, but I do feel that given her condition (that you have no knowledge of) they should never have been snatched away from her. No, she should NOT have kidnapped them, but those children were kidnapped twice. --I am completely dumbfounded that you or anyone would ever tell Dr. Phil to stay out of it. He is an expert and does nothing but help the world. Would you still tell him to "leave it to the legal system" if this were one of the child molestation cases we have seen him bring to light? Just because your personal, uneducated opinion is not HELPED by Dr. Phil telling the truth does not mean he should ignore it and leave this terrible disorder in the dark to the world. Last, I have to say-- how DARE you assume you have any idea what this debilitating disease is like. If someone has had cancer and you have not, you do not tell that person that you KNOW what they are going through and then pass judgements on them. You have no earthly idea what HG is like, and you need to stop some of your criticisms long enough to be thankful that you had two normal pregnancies. |
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