Quote From: jennyppIt's not a "big deal". I was just curious how others handle this with their children. When I was younger, it was totally acceptable for in-laws to visit without calling first - we didn't always have phones. Also, I can understand when you visit too regularly - which I don't. I only live a couple of miles from my son and don't visit without calling unless I happen to be in his neighborhood babysitting for his neighbor, or want to deliver something to them. This doesn't happen very often - as I said maybe once or twice a month - which I don't consider unreasonable. Anyway, I didn't expect to be chastized for this - just wanted others opinions. And I got them. Thank you all - I won't visit again without calling first - even if the tide rises!
When you have a telephone to come over without calling. I had a mother that came from a time with no phones & it was she who taught me it's never polite to show up without calling EVER. This would be in-laws or anyone else for that matter. When I was first married my mother was literally driving by my apartment with my father & brother & went up the street & called from a pay phone (no cells back then) to check & see if we were home & if it was ok to stop in. Not when it's "too regularly" but EVER.
If your son has told you that he always wants you always to call them it doesn't matter if you're babysitting or dropping something off you need to pick up a phone & call first. If he said you are to "always" call then this not happening "very often" is very "unreasonable" & it doesn't matter what you consider it. And I will go farther to say that what is really unreasonable is that you disregard their opinion & have no respect for the rules/boundries they've set. If your son has told you you should "always call" & you continue because in your opinion it's only once or twice a month and YOU don't consider it unreasonable you've no regard for their feelings & thier view of things.
And you know you didn't come here to see how others handle this because you don't want to hear anything but what agrees with your view of it. You had 2 people tell you that in their circles it's common manner to always call first & you're telling us we're wrong because it doesn't reenforce what you want. & on top of that it doesn't matter what is common it's what your son wants & you've heard everyone including Dr. Phil day you've got to respect their boundries. period.
