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October 1, 2005, 6:26 pm PDT
Overcoming Grief
Quote From: aussie_grl My mum died when I was 16.....and I do miss her.....but you know what? She wasn't that great. God strike me down for saying that, I know everyone else would. But she did a lot of things that I just cannot accept as being in your children's best interests. And somehow both my brother and I (who are on opposite sides of the country) both that mental health and drug problems. I'm not blaming my parents, but I can't condone what they did either.
And there's the problem. I live with the guilt that my mother was this wonderful, giving, loving person, and in many ways she was, but I kinda resent her for a lot of stuff too. And then there's the guilt related to the fact that I was a 16 year old rebelous girl when she died and was in complete denial of the whole situation, angry at the world and specifically at her. I never got to say I was sorry. I never got to be her friend. I wasn't there for her. But she wasn't there for me either? I understand where you are coming from but you really need to decide where you want to go from here, I would recomend getting off the frugs and seeking help for the guilt and resentmentt hat you feel. I amlearning that it isbetter to dwell on the good and not the bad for dwelling on the bad gets a person know where just more resentful, whatever. I understand, my mother was never there for me either, I was raised in foster care, in the system that failled my me and my siblings more then once, but because of my determinaton, faith in God and the will to live life differently, I am now a happily married to a wonderful husband and we have two beautiful little girls, I have an education that I am proud of and I have begun to break the cycle of the disfunctions of my family. Sure, I love my family and wish things were different, but I cannot do anything to change the past and cannot change other peoples heart and life styles, but I sure can change mine and that is exactly what I did. Not easy, but possible and worth the effort. Dwell upon the positive and get the help that you need and be a survivor and accomplish great things, Give your self a chance to grow and to to be an inspiration to those you love, you will be glad that you did, there is light at the end of the tunnel, I found it and so can you.
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