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Replies to 'Bipolar Disorder'
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May 2, 2007, 7:14 am PDT
 Quote From: donohue1 It has been 9 months since ive stopped taking my meds. I feel normal but am I ? My doctor won't see me because I don't agrree with the medication. Iv'e suffered many manic attacks since iv'e stopped the meds and have pulled myself through. I think ? I relized my triggers and when I'm in mania I pull myself back by watching my four small kids playing and keep telling myself I have to be strong for them. My biggest fear is that someday agian soon I might not be able to come back I might go to far as I did when I first broke. I love my wife of 13 years very much and she is my support but I don't know how to explain myself when im in mania mostly because I dont't want to scare her she thinks I'm all better. Boy is she wrong. She told me the other day she feels we are losing connection and drifting apart. What should I do. how do I explain its not our relationship its something that is uncontrolable even tho I'm putting up a good fight sometimes I lose and when I lose I withdraw because I've learned a valuable code among the strongest of the bipoar socitey. I will share with you Its Code 5. The fitth rule. ask your doctor if he knows code 5 or the fifth rule they will not tell you. If he/she tells you he broke the rule. If he/she says they dont't know tell them you are not allowed to discuss it unless they know about it. Dont' tell them or you broke the rule. Belive me when you are in full blown mainia and all you can remeber is code 5 you will be treated better by crisses workers and hospital staff. code 5 is simple and It is THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN BE USED AGAINST YOU. Well good luck to all you peoplewho are suffering from this disorder. its just to bad we don't have places where we could go to get uptodate information and pepole like us to talk to. well I've rambled enough so ta ta for know. Some are very lucky that they have such wonderful support systems such as you have with your wife. Perhaps part of the disconnected feeling for her is you trying to protect her in some ways about how you feel. I know for me it has taken time and a lot of patience on my hubby's part to understand how hard the words come but they do in time. He listens to the best of his ability and knows that among the rif raf so to speak are the things that are bothering me a great deal. It is to that he pays the most attention and tries to help find answers to them. I am also unmedicated but a very rapid cycler. Basically for me if you don't like my mood at the moment give it ten or so and it will probably change again. There are places on the net that do offer updated stuff and support not just for those who suffer this illness but also for caregivers for them. Nami is a good one. Health Boards is another and the list is nearly endless google it and the amount you find is suprising and a few are done by the drug companies themselves with a lot of wonderful tips, advice, and things you can do not just to get through a particular moment but on a day to day scale. Bipolar to an extent can be controlled through work, meds, and insight. It isn't always easy and there are days you slide back but it is ground you can make up again. It is only a lost cause when you quit fighting at all. If you struggle verbally to talk about how you feel perhaps writing it down and then either reading it to her or letting her do it on her own might be more helpful. I would imagine she sees a lot more then what you might think she does and maybe is uncertain of how to approach it. Or if she should at all and perhaps is waiting for you to be ready to discuss it. That I can only hazard a guess at but spouses or significant others tend to see a lot more then what we can or do at times.
Deb |
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May 2, 2007, 9:09 am PDT
Quote From: donohue1 It has been 9 months since ive stopped taking my meds. I feel normal but am I ? My doctor won't see me because I don't agrree with the medication. Iv'e suffered many manic attacks since iv'e stopped the meds and have pulled myself through. I think ? I relized my triggers and when I'm in mania I pull myself back by watching my four small kids playing and keep telling myself I have to be strong for them. My biggest fear is that someday agian soon I might not be able to come back I might go to far as I did when I first broke. I love my wife of 13 years very much and she is my support but I don't know how to explain myself when im in mania mostly because I dont't want to scare her she thinks I'm all better. Boy is she wrong. She told me the other day she feels we are losing connection and drifting apart. What should I do. how do I explain its not our relationship its something that is uncontrolable even tho I'm putting up a good fight sometimes I lose and when I lose I withdraw because I've learned a valuable code among the strongest of the bipoar socitey. I will share with you Its Code 5. The fitth rule. ask your doctor if he knows code 5 or the fifth rule they will not tell you. If he/she tells you he broke the rule. If he/she says they dont't know tell them you are not allowed to discuss it unless they know about it. Dont' tell them or you broke the rule. Belive me when you are in full blown mainia and all you can remeber is code 5 you will be treated better by crisses workers and hospital staff. code 5 is simple and It is THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN BE USED AGAINST YOU. Well good luck to all you peoplewho are suffering from this disorder. its just to bad we don't have places where we could go to get uptodate information and pepole like us to talk to. well I've rambled enough so ta ta for know. You're really playing with fire, not being on your meds...and not communicating with your wife is a mistake. If you are afraid of scaring her, maybe that should be a sign to you that you should be on meds.
Realizing your moods is half the battle...but one day, you might not be able to "come back" on your own. Better to be on the meds than to land in the psych ward, or in the funeral home. You really owe it to your kids and your wife to be on your meds and stay stable.
There are meds out there that don't have obnoxious side effects. I'm on Lamictal and Abilify, and my creativity, which was gone for 10 years, is back, and I am mostly stable. I try to keep stress at a lower level, and I have the flexibility with my pdoc to adjust my meds as needed.
The right to remain silent.....silence never got anybody the help that they needed...tell your wife everything, and get back to the doctor, and get on some meds!!!!
Sorry to be harsh, but I've been off of my meds for as long as a year, and I ended up in a "train wreck", in the psych ward...really disrupting our family life, and scaring the kids and my husband. I could easily have ended up dead...don't let this happen to you.
Becky |
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