Replies to 'Giving and Receiving Support'

Quote From: faullzoomom

I'm sitting here feeling lonely, frustrated and very tired.  My mother inlaw just left after a four day visit.  I am a horrible mother, an competent wife and and a fanatically religious person who can't get do anything well and my imcompentence is an amusing joke to those around me.  I am hormonal at present so magnify that times ten.  My church is falling apart.  My husband and I go to a very small church whose median age is mid 50's.  We are in our late thrity's and have three children 3, 4 and 9.  We are the youth of our church.  There are literally no other children in our church.  We do not have a pastor at present.  We have a used carsalesman who live 45 miles away and comes in on Sundays and Wednesdays to preach and claims he doesn't know where anything in the bible is located, but he knows it is there we can find it later.  I am a stay at home mom and have been for the last 3 1/2 years.  We were foster parents and adopted three boys.  My youngest came to us with some severe sensory integration issues and very severe lack of attachement issues.  MY KIDS NEED SOCIALIZATION AND INTERACTION WITH OTHER KIDS.  I know that.  But I committed to teaching the women's Sunday School this year.  My term won't be up until October.  Now our church is deciding to really struggle and divide itself on whether or not to have a pastor search and get a leader for our church or continue down the path of least effort and maintain until the death of the church or congregation completely.  As a younger person of the church some want me to fight the good fight and help save the church.  I am wanting to bale and get my kids into a church they can grow and thrive in.  I feel like a horrible person, but am a protective mother who knows my kids need to come first.  I still feel sad and very horrible for the church's situation, I don't want to totally detach but, there is not a shortage of stress in my life and I really don't need it from the place where you go for comfort and refreshment.  I'm in a bad place right now, but am healthy enough  to know it is temporary and I don't have it as bad as some.  Just venting to keep from going to bed and crying, If I start I'm afraid it will take some time before I quit.  I am choosing to share so that if anyone can share some encouragment and positive feedback, I sure could use some about now.