Quote From: tnsuzanMy 18 year old daughter has a male friend. She claims they are just friends but here is my problem. They are together all the time. He is lazy, sloppy and has bad manners. He also has a chip on his shoulder and is very defensive about everything. He makes excuses for everything. He also brags about things (and he has no reason to brag). The biggest problem is, that wherever my daughter goes, he goes. I keep telling Lindsey that she will never meet any other friends if he is around. She needs other friends, Male and Female. She goes to school but if she has time between classes, he will show up there to spend time with her. She goes to a theater class and he will go with her. I don't know what to do. I want her to have other friends. She is a pretty bright girl and doesn't need to be hanging around all the time with a lazy 20 year old who doesn't work and is very lazy and all he cares about is video games. If I forbid her to see him, then she will rebel and sneak. If I let her see him, then she will never meet other friends. If I could afford it, I would send her away to school. I mean far away. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Suzanne in TN.
Hi Suzanne in TN.
What I would advise is to let your daughter know exactly how you feel. Do not pull any punches with your feelings to be "polite" or "fair" to him. Spell out exactly what her future would be if she ended up with him, ie.: She would wake up to his face every morning, her kids would look like him, she would have to live with his decisions on everything, or fight with him about them, her kids would act like him, talk like him, and even be named after him, and if he grates her nerves now he would be grating her nerves for evermore. Point out where he lives, and how he lives and that that is what she should expect from him in the long run.Tell her she must be truthfull to herself about her feelings about him, and remember she is young and so very able to attract better. She MUST NOT CHOOSE ANYONE UNTIL SHE KNOWS HERSELF MUCH BETTER!!! And she must have the guts to tell this guy so, or accept the consequences.
Judy in IL
PS- Tell her there is no hurry to leave home, and give her all the space she needs, and help getting her on her feet. Don't let her go down the tubes without a fight!
