Replies to '05/10 Obsessive Love: Secrets Revealed'

Abusers are who they are before you enter into their lives. The emotional and verbal abuse can make you want to seek complitments, love, to just be held without judgement. I was in an abusive marrage. I did not cheat but it does not mean that I did not think about. If "if" the opportunity had presented itself I may have only becasue I wanted to be more to someone than a a 4 letter word. Sorry but the man was a freak from day one, not because of Jennifer. Thank god I did not believe I was the 4 letter words my X husband called me. And thank god our daughter is not in that situation growing up that we where in. I did not want my son growing up thinking that was what he was going to dish out to any future partner or my daughter think that was what she had to take.

to me that anyone could believe and actually say "but she is the reason he is like he is.".  I  beg to differ.  He is like he is because he CHOOSES to be. He has NOT been driven to be abusive and controlling, he is CHOOSING it.  He CHOSE to be so from the day they married.  The fact that she chose to have affairs does in NO WAY justify his abuse.  Yeah, she made bad choices there - but the fact she did isn't WHY he is abusing/controlling her.  He was NOT driven to these horrible behaviors by her infidelity.  She owns the infedlity and should not try to justify it, just as he owns the abuse and should not try to justify that.  IMO anyway.

He is a VERY scary man and I hope she right now is in a safe haven, where he cannot find her.  Seeing the previews of next week's shows, I am so scared for her.  I hope Dr. Phil's crew ensured her safety.     Roxy

She is not the reason he is like he is....he has some serious problems that started way before that....dont go blaming her.

This guy has been out of control since before they were married. reading the part 1 of this will help but it wasn't until i saw the show that I thought that she was dealing with someone that is totally unstable. even if she hadn't had an affair, he would still be doing this. it totally creeped me out

She is not the reason he became like this.   He is what is is. 

 Ask yourself this question.  Can anyone make you act like him?  My guess you  answered  no  because it sounds like you have compassion.  We should fear for Jennifer and her childfren and not make no excuses for Jeffrey. 

 "I never heard how he was with her before she cheated on him."

You weren't paying attention & if you go back & read "what happened on the show" you seel he "started questioning her just after they married"  which was when she was pregnant with their child.  At the time she was practically a child herself.  after a year & a half in their 2nd year of marriage she cheated on him.  & I can certainly see a young woman of her age thinking "Ok if he's going to accuse me..........."  Abusers don't become abusive they abuse form the beginning & manipulate the situation the way they want it to go & picking a 19 yr. old to marry is the start because it's easy to con someone who's young & inexperienced.  once pregnant & then married just 2 months after starting to date he had her "hooked"  This is *very common* & among the list of things to look out for when dating as a sign of an abuser "If he wants the relationship to progress real fast & marry right away".  They're "hooking you".  classic.

"She not only cheated but she kept trying to have affairs. "

This is taken from the obcessive dillusional thoughts of this man that has been twisting things so long even HE believes the lies.  Remeber just a joke of "You're a sexy bitch" to a girlfriend in an email had him accussing her of being a lesbian.  He's a liar & her continuing to try to have affairs is HIS dillusion. 

"but she is the reason he is like he is. "  People aren't made into abusers they come that way & the victim just doesn't see it.